


No Place Like Home

by telperion_15



Series: Nick/Connor [17]
Category: Primeval
Genre: Action, Alternate Canon, Alternate Universe - Canon, Angst, F/M, Homecoming, M/M, Reunions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-20
Updated: 2012-02-20
Packaged: 2017-10-31 12:23:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 23,619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/344020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/telperion_15/pseuds/telperion_15
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nick's finally back, but he doesn't get quite the homecoming he expected.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Direct sequel to 'Forever And A Day'.
> 
> Spoilers for episode 3.01.
> 
> A note about OCs:  
> Primeval fandom on LiveJournal has generated a number of fanon OCs, created by different authors and freely used by others, to the extent that some of them have now taken on lives of their own. The ones that appear in this fic, Jacobs, Anders, Rees, Carter and Davis, belong to me.

“Nick?”  
  
The relief on Stephen’s face was mingled with disbelief, and even something that might have been suspicion. And it was definitely noticeable that none of the soldiers had as yet lowered their weapons.  
  
Nick raised his hands slightly in a placating gesture. “It’s me. I’m back.”  
  
“You’re back?” Stephen was frowning suddenly. “You’ve been gone for this long, and all you can say is ‘I’m back’?”  
  
Nick sighed. “Sorry. But what else do you want me to say?”  
  
“An explanation would be nice.”  
  
“Can’t you let me catch my breath first?” Nick retorted. He was becoming irritated – this wasn’t exactly the welcome he’d been hoping for.  
  
“Gentlemen, please.” Another voice spoke, and then Jenny appeared from behind Stephen, and walked towards Nick.  
  
“I suppose we can assume you are _our_ Nicholas Cutter?” she asked. “You’ll have to forgive my asking, but you could have popped through from any old world, what with there being other timelines apparently just around the corner, as it were.”  
  
“Well, I’m not sure how to prove it to you, but I _think_ I’m your Nick Cutter,” Nick told her, smiling a little. “I followed Helen through an anomaly from this very spot a year ago today, and have been stuck in a parallel world ever since. Does that sound plausible to you?”  
  
“You _have_ been gone for a year,” Jenny confirmed. “It’s looking good so far.” She looked around at the soldiers. “I think you can lower your weapons now, if you don’t mind.”  
  
There was a couple of seconds hesitation, and then at a nod from Captain Jacobs, all the soldiers dropped the muzzles of their rifles so they were no longer pointing at Nick.  
  
“Thank you. Now, perhaps we’d better get you back to the ARC? It sounds like you have quite a tale to tell us, Professor.”  
  
Nick nodded. “I do at that.”  
  
“Wait a minute, Miss Lewis.” Jacobs stepped forward. “I appreciate that it’s _likely_ that this is this world’s Professor Cutter, but we need to take some precautions. Lester needs to be informed before we bring him back, and I’m going to have to insist that one of my men accompanies him until further notice.”  
  
“Do you really think that’s necessary…?” Nick began, but Jenny cut him off.  
  
“The captain is right, Cutter,” she said. Then she smiled lightly. “Don’t worry, you’re not a prisoner or anything. We just can’t take any risks. You know if it was anyone else reappearing after being gone for a year, you’d be just as cautious as I’m being now.”  
  
Nick thought about trying to argue again, but then gave it up. Jenny was right. _He_ knew who he was, but the others had every right to be wary. And besides, the implacable look on Jacobs’ face told him that he wouldn’t like the results very much if he tried to argue.  
  
Jenny nodded gratefully at his acquiescence, and then moved away slightly, pulling out her mobile phone. With half an ear on her conversation with Lester, Nick hovered near the still-open anomaly, remembering some of the things that had happened to him in the past year, and what he’d had to do to get home again.  
  
He’d hoped Stephen might come over and talk to him, but disappointingly the other man seemed to be staying away, throwing him indefinable looks, a sharp contrast to Jenny’s encouraging smiles every time she made eye contact with him. Nick wondered if her discussion with Lester was really going as smoothly as her expression indicated.  
  
But eventually she hung up and walked back over to Nick. “Lester’s agreed that you can go back to the ARC,” she said. “He trusts that you’re not going to try and blow us up, or unleash an army of clone soldiers on us.”  
  
“How magnanimous of him,” Nick replied, rolling his eyes.  
  
“He agrees with Captain Jacobs that you need an escort, though,” Jenny continued. “Just to be on the safe side.”  
  
“Of course he does.”  
  
A gesture from Jacobs brought Lieutenant Anders over to stand beside them. The soldier looked at Nick with undisguised curiosity, and Nick suddenly felt like an insect under a microscope.  
  
“Right, the vehicles are back at the car park, but it’s only a short walk. I’m sure you remember that though…” Jenny was fishing in her pocket for her keys when Stephen spoke up unexpectedly.  
  
“Wait. I’ll drive him.”  
  
Jenny looked between him and Nick for a few seconds before nodding. “All right then. I don’t suppose it makes any difference either way, so long as Lieutenant Anders stays with you.”  
  
“Great.” Stephen’s expression as he looked at Nick was faintly apologetic, although he attempted a smile as he stepped closer to Nick and Anders.  
  
Jenny was talking to Jacobs again. “I’m sure you and your men can handle the anomaly until it closes, Captain.” She turned to Nick. “Is anything likely to come through?”  
  
“There didn’t appear to be any creatures in the immediate vicinity,” Nick replied. “And besides, I shouldn’t think it’ll be open for too much longer. Helen told me this anomaly is only open on one day a year. That’s why it’s taken me so long to get back.”  
  
Both Stephen and Jenny’s eyes narrowed at the mention of Helen, and Nick smiled ruefully.  
  
“She helped me get back,” he admitted. “She said she found out I was gone, but couldn’t get to me until today. And she explained how the anomalies can cross timelines too.” Nick held up the device Helen had given him. “This tells you when an anomaly has switched to a parallel timeline.”  
  
“Let’s leave all the explanations for when we get back, all right?” Jenny said firmly. “I’m sure you don’t want to explain yourself more than once.”  
  
“I’m not sure I’ll be able to explain it the _first_ time around,” said Nick. “Keeping everything Helen said straight in my mind is giving me a headache.”  
  
I’ve got a notepad in the car,” said Stephen. “Maybe you could jot some of it down as we drive.”  
  
Nick looked at him for a moment, and then nodded. “That’s a good idea. Thanks.”  
  
“Come on, then.” Stephen and Anders started along the path towards the car park, but Nick hung back a moment longer.  
  
“I know I said nothing was likely to make a surprise visit, but you might want to warn Captain Jacobs to keep an eye out for Helen,” he said quietly. “She left me before I came back through the anomaly, but you never know…”  
  
Jenny looked at him for a few seconds, and then nodded. “I will.” Then she gestured after Stephen. “Don’t wait for me. I’ll follow on behind you in my own car in a few minutes, and meet you back at the ARC.” She smiled suddenly. “I wish I could see the look on Lester’s face when you walk in there. As you can imagine, his enthusiasm when he heard you were back wasn’t overwhelming – between you and me I think he’s been enjoying the peace and quiet!”  
  
Nick laughed, and then set off after his escort, who had paused at a bend in the path to wait for him. He was going to have a lot of explaining to do, but it was nice to be home.  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
The pen dropping from his fingers and clattering into the foot well startled Nick from his reverie. He looked down at the grand total of two sentences he’d managed to write, and then sideways at Stephen, whose eyes were on the road, but who was also wearing a faint smile – a contrast to his earlier uncertain expression.  
  
“Penny for them?” the other man asked, without turning his head.  
  
“Where do you want me to start?” Nick replied lightly. “I still can’t quite believe that I’m back.”  
  
“Neither can I,” said Stephen.  
  
“And neither can I,” added Anders from the back seat.  
  
Nick started again – he had momentarily forgotten the soldier was there.  
  
“Hart here’s been moping around for months,” the lieutenant continued mischievously. “He’s been missing you something rotten.”  
  
“I have not!” Stephen protested. “Well, obviously, I’ve missed you of course,” he amended. “But I have _not_ been moping!” He glared at Anders’ reflection in the rear-view mirror, but the soldier just grinned back unrepentantly.  
  
Nick smiled slightly. “So you _did_ miss me, then?” he asked, the faint emphasis unmistakeable.  
  
Stephen glanced at him quickly. “Sorry about the less than warm welcome,” he said. “I guess I was just little shocked to see you, that’s all. We all were.”  
  
That _all_ drew Nick’s thoughts back to what had really been distracting him from his writing. He took a deep breath. There was no avoiding the obvious question any more. “Where’s Connor, anyway?” he asked, hoping he was carrying off the nonchalant tone he was aiming for. “And Abby?” he added. “Why weren’t they at the anomaly site?”  
  
Was it his imagination, or did Stephen hesitate slightly before answering?  
  
“Actually, they’re at another anomaly,” he replied. “They were already on their way there when the detector went off again to signal your anomaly, so you just got Jenny and me. And Captain Jacobs’ team, of course.”  
  
“Another anomaly?” questioned Nick, making an effort to sound interested. “Whereabouts?”  
  
“Near Birmingham. Jenny had a report shortly after they arrived – it all seemed pretty low-key, and Connor reckoned it was already getting weaker. I wouldn’t be surprised to find they’re back at the ARC before we are.”  
  
Nick tried to ignore the sudden beating of his heart and the butterflies tap-dancing in his stomach. He absolutely refused to ask Stephen whether Connor had missed him too, particularly with Anders still grinning in the back seat. But silently he started to will the other man to drive faster.  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
The ARC looked just the same on the outside as Nick remembered. On the inside, however, there were a few differences, chiefly in the atrium. Whereas before the open space had only housed the anomaly detection device and a couple of desks, there were now several workbenches scattered around, on which stood several computers, and the paraphernalia of more than one unidentifiable project. Nick recognised the detritus as the result of Connor’s enthusiastic, but haphazard, way of working, and smiled a little.  
  
Stephen noticed him looking at a pile of wiring and components on one of the benches. “Connor’s trying to construct an anomaly locking device,” he explained quickly. But upon seeing Nick’s confused look, he elaborated further.  
  
“About six weeks ago there was an anomaly at the British Museum, of all places. Connor accidentally managed to ‘lock’ the anomaly using an electrical current, and now he’s trying to replicate the effect. He’s not been having much luck so far, though – mainly because he’s not _exactly_ sure what he did to make it happen the first time.”  
  
“Locking the anomalies?” questioned Nick. “As in, stopping anything coming through? That could be _very_ useful.” Then he looked at Stephen, his eyes twinkling. “I bet Lester was overjoyed about an anomaly in the British Museum, though.”  
  
Stephen grinned. “Not quite the word I’d use,” he replied. “Luckily, the pristichampus that came through didn’t do much damage to the museum. The Royal Festival Hall is a whole different story, though. Jenny’s had a bit of a task on her hands with that one. She did manage to get the Egyptologist to keep quiet, though.”  
  
“Egyptologist?”  
  
“One Dr. Sarah Page – she was working late at the museum when the anomaly opened. She was quite helpful, actually.”  
  
“Sarah Page? You’re kidding me.”  
  
“Is something wrong?”  
  
“No, not at all. It’s just…look, perhaps we’d better find Lester. I really need to tell you guys what’s been going on.”  
  
“No need to look, Professor. I’m right here.”  
  
Nick looked up at the sound of Lester’s voice to find the civil servant regarding them from the balcony outside his office. The man’s expression was more than a little resigned, and Nick fought not to roll his eyes as he was beckoned to imperiously.  
  
“I suppose I’d better go and report in, then,” he muttered to Stephen.  
  
“I’ll come with you. I really want to know what’s been happening.”  
  
Nick looked around. “Hopefully Jenny should be here in a minute. Like she said, I don’t really want to go through all the explanations more than once. And where are Connor and Abby? I thought you said they’d be back by now?”  
  
“They’ve probably just been held up,” said Stephen, and again Nick sensed something slightly off in the other man’s reply. “Traffic or something.”  
  
But at that moment the atrium doors swung open and Connor and Abby entered, chatting and laughing together.  
  
They were holding hands.


	2. Chapter 2

  
The situation might have been comical if it wasn’t for the looks of absolute shock on the faces of Connor and Abby. Nick was pretty sure the expression was mirrored on his own features, and he couldn’t stop his eyes dropping to the pair’s clasped hands.  
  
However, even as he stared, Connor swiftly disentangled his fingers from Abby’s, shoving his hand in his pocket before taking a step forward.  
  
“Nick…”  
  
The quiet plea was enough to dispel the hastily constructed theory that Nick had, after all, returned to a timeline not his own, where his relationship with Connor had never been, and the young man had instead followed through on his feelings for Abby.  
  
No, he _was_ home. There was no mistake. This was where he was supposed to be. Only this was in no way what was supposed to be happening.  
  
Now Nick knew why Stephen had been strangely evasive with him on the subject of Connor, and as he darted a quick look at Stephen’s face, he could see the guilt and apology written there as clear as day.  
  
Hurriedly he turned away, glancing up again at Lester, who looked supremely unconcerned about the emotional drama playing out beneath him. Directing his steps towards the ramp he climbed up to the civil servant’s eyrie, hearing Stephen walking behind him, and hyper aware of Connor and Abby following along a short distance behind.  
  
Lester’s office was smaller than he remembered, and with all of them gathered there, including Lieutenant Anders standing on guard by the door, the place felt a little crowded, particularly when about a minute later Jenny hurriedly slipped in and found a seat too.  
  
Nick sat next to Stephen, directly opposite Lester, while Jenny had placed herself in a chair by the end of their boss’s large, glass-topped desk. Connor and Abby were sitting on an upright sofa by the wall, out of Nick’s line of sight, although he could hear Abby whispering something to Connor. The young man remained silent.  
  
“So, Professor – if indeed you _are_ Professor Cutter…” Lester was sat behind the desk, his hands steepled in front of him as he surveyed Nick rather suspiciously over his fingertips.  
  
“Of course I’m me,” Nick replied irritably, aware that he wasn’t doing a very good job of keeping his emotions in check. “Who else would I be?”  
  
“Ah, maybe I should rephrase – after all, you may not be our Professor Cutter.”  
  
“I really think he is, James,” Jenny put in. “So far what he’s told us about what happened to him tallies with what we know.”  
  
“And what has he told you?”  
  
Jenny’s sudden silence betrayed her realisation that actually Nick _hadn’t_ told them that much.  
  
“Oh, for heaven’s sake,” said Nick suddenly. “I’m not some impostor or parallel version of me. As I told Jenny and Stephen at the anomaly site, I followed Helen through that anomaly a year ago, and I’ve been stuck in a different timeline ever since. Jenny tells me that it’s been a year here too, so even the passage of time matches up.” He was carefully _not_ thinking about certain things that seemed to have occurred during the said passage of time.  
  
“And might I ask what you’ve been doing during the past year, Professor?”  
  
“You sound like you think I’ve been plotting against you or something. As a matter of fact I’ve been helping a team of people research and deal with the anomalies. People I consider to be my _friends_.”  
  
“You found another anomaly project?” Stephen sounded surprised.  
  
“Yes, although it was on a much smaller scale than this one. At least to start with. They were unfortunately overseen by someone who was rather unwilling to give them the recognition they deserved.” Nick directed a sly look at Lester, who didn’t bat an eyelid.  
  
“Care to furnish us with some more details, Cutter?”  
  
Briefly, Nick gave an account of the more prominent events of his year in exile, unable to avoid mentioning Rob, Dan, and Jo, as well as Captain Becker, Sarah Page, and Christine Johnson.  
  
Upon hearing the final name, Lester’s eyebrows had risen in sudden recognition. “Christine Johnson? How unfortunate.”  
  
“You know her?”  
  
“She has been a thorn in my side on more than one occasion,” Lester acknowledged. “And now you tell me she was in charge of the anomaly project in another timeline? I’m suddenly feeling it might be politic to reacquaint myself with the progress of her career in _this_ world. We wouldn’t want her to start poking her nose in here, after all.”  
  
He wouldn’t say any more than that, and Nick decided that the bureaucratic wranglings were best left to Lester, and didn’t enquire further. He quickly wrapped up his tale of his time in the parallel world, answering a couple of questions from Jenny about Sarah Page, and a couple from Stephen about the creatures he’d seen. Connor and Abby were still noticeably silent.  
  
“And now I think you’d better tell us how you achieved your miraculous return,” said Lester eventually.  
  
Nick shifted slightly in his chair. “Helen,” he said flatly. “She turned up out of the blue and helped me.”  
  
Trying to be as clear as possible, he repeated Helen’s explanation, as far as he could remember it, about how the anomalies switched between timelines. The notes he’d scribbled hurriedly in the car weren’t much help, but he felt he didn’t make too bad a job of it. At least no one looked _completely_ confused by the time he’d finished.  
  
At the end of his explanation he pulled Helen’s monitoring device out of his pocket. “This identifies the fluctuations in the anomaly,” he said. “For reasons only known to herself, Helen let me keep it so we could examine it and figure out how it works.”  
  
“Can I see that?”  
  
Connor’s voice was like a sudden shock of cold water down the back of Nick’s neck. For a short while he’d actually all but forgotten the young man was there, but as he turned his head slightly he could see that Connor was leaning forward eagerly, hand outstretched to take the device.  
  
But as their eyes met, Connor snatched his hand back abruptly and sat back in his seat, ducking his head and looking away.  
  
“Never mind.”  
  
Nick took a deep breath. “No, you _are_ the best person to look at it. I’m pretty sure Helen was referring to you when she talked about figuring it out.” He stood up and held the device out to Connor, who hesitated for a moment before taking it.  
  
He looked like he was about to say something else, but Nick wasn’t sure that he could cope with any further conversation right then. He quickly turned back to Lester and the others, effectively cutting off any words before Connor could utter them.  
  
“Is that all for now? I was up rather early this morning, and it’s been an eventful day. I’m knackered.”  
  
To his surprise, Lester nodded. “I think we can take a break, yes. We’ll reconvene tomorrow. I’m sure there’s still a lot we haven’t heard about your adventures, Professor.”  
  
Nick suppressed a sigh. He was sure he had a lot of debriefing still to go through, but that hadn’t been entirely unexpected.  
  
Lester’s next words, however, were not as pleasant.  
  
“Unfortunately, I cannot allow to leave the ARC at this time. It’s only precautionary, but I think you’ll agree that precautions are a necessary part of this job. I think we can dispense with your military minder, but you’ll have to stay on the premises for the time being. I’m sure Ms. Lewis and Mr. Hart can find you somewhere to sleep for the night, and some food, among other things.”  
  
“But I…”  
  
“No arguments, Professor,” said Lester sternly. “I assure you I am quite immoveable on this issue.”  
  
Nick gave in with ill grace. “Fine,” he muttered. “Whatever you say.”  
  
Stephen had risen to his feet. “Come on, Cutter, we can make up one of the bunk rooms for you to get some sleep in. And I’m sure we can rustle up some takeout or something.”  
  
Nick allowed himself to be led from the room, very aware of the looks, alternately supercilious, relieved, and guilty, following him out of the door.  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
Forty minutes later, Nick was installed in one of the bunkrooms, and had showered and dressed in a random assortment of clean clothes that Stephen had provided, and which Nick decided not to question the origins of.  
  
He perched on the edge of the bed, bouncing slightly to test the firmness of the mattress. Yes, still as rock-solid as he remembered.  
  
Stephen was watching him from the doorway with a mixture of amusement and sympathy, the former of which seemed to win out for a moment as Nick’s stomach rumbled.  
  
“I think Jenny’s organising some food, but I’m not sure when it’ll be here. I can fetch you a snack from the vending machine, if you like?”  
  
“It’s okay, I can wait.”  
  
“Oh, well, in that case, perhaps I should leave you alone then. You’ve had quite a day – maybe you should get some rest?”  
  
“No!” The last thing Nick needed was to be alone with his thoughts. “Don’t go. Stay, tell me about what’s been going on here while I’ve been gone. I’m sure there must be some tales to tell.”  
  
Stephen nodded. “All right.” Then he looked around at the rather spartan bunkroom. “But I’m sure there’s somewhere better we could go to talk. Lester might have confined you to the ARC for the moment, but that doesn’t mean you have to stay in _here_ all the time.”  
  
Nick stood up with alacrity. “That’s a good idea. Lead on.”  
  
He expected Stephen to take him to the rec room, or somewhere like that, and it only occurred to him once they were halfway up the stairs from the basement ‘hospitality’ area that it was all too likely that he might meet certain people in such a public space.  
  
But he needn’t have worried. Stephen only went as far as the ground floor level, and then stopped at a door about halfway along the main corridor.  
  
Peering through the small window set into the door, Nick could see that the room inside was shrouded in dustsheets. He turned to Stephen.  
  
“You kept my lab?”  
  
“Yep.” Stephen opened the door, and ushered Nick inside. “Lester wasn’t too happy about the ‘waste of valuable space’, as he put it, but he gave in eventually.”  
  
With a flourish, he pulled off the large covering that was draped over Nick’s desk and chair. Unfortunately, the dustsheets were well named, and it was several moments before either of them could stop coughing.  
  
The next sheet was pulled off with rather more care, to reveal a workbench and another chair. They both sat down, and Nick looked around at the familiar environment.  
  
“I still can’t believe that Lester let you keep this place intact.”  
  
“It wasn’t the easiest of achievements,” Stephen admitted. “But I think in the end Lester realised that reassigning your lab would result in some kind of mutiny. None of us were willing to give up on you quite that irrevocably – after all, compared with supposedly coming back from the dead, returning from being lost through an anomaly is a doddle!” He grinned.  
  
Looking around again, Nick smiled back. “Well, thank you,” he said. “Although I suppose it’s too much to hope that you kept my house as well?”  
  
“Of course we did.” Stephen seemed surprised that Nick would think otherwise. “You kept my flat for me while I was gone, so it was the least I could do.”  
  
Nick thought about pointing out that technically Stephen had neither returned from the dead, nor was the original owner of the flat he now inhabited. But it made him happy to see that Stephen truly considered this world his home now, so he kept quiet.  
  
“And besides,” Stephen was saying, “I don’t think we could have got rid of your house if we’d tried, during the first few months, anyway. Connor was practically camped out there, you know – at least, he was when we could drag him away from his vigil in front of the anomaly detector…” He trailed off as he realised what he was saying, and then opened his mouth again to apologise.  
  
Nick held up a hand to forestall him. He’d been trying not to think about Connor at all, but it seemed the world wasn’t going to let him get away with that. “How long?” he asked in a low voice.  
  
Stephen hesitated slightly, and then spoke equally quietly. “About three months,” he said. “I’m sorry, Cutter…”  
  
“It’s okay.”  
  
“You have to know, he tried harder than anyone to get you back,” Stephen said hastily. “He was practically glued to the anomaly detector, waiting for the anomaly you disappeared through to reopen. He tried every idea and theory he could come up with to work out where you’d gone, and how we might be able to find you. And every time we went to an anomaly site, it was obvious that he was just hoping you’d appear, like magic. It took a toll, having his hopes dashed every time like that. It took a toll on all of us.”  
  
Nick wished Stephen would stop trying to explain. It wasn’t helping. If anything, it was just making things worse. But other man’s defence of Connor was heartfelt, if nothing else, and Nick couldn’t help remembering how Connor had been Stephen’s defender in turn when Nick had all but cut him out of his life. This wasn’t the same Stephen, but it still made a strange kind of sense.  
  
“Maybe you should talk to him,” Stephen said softly. “Let him explain. I’m sure he feels terrible right now.”  
  
“Not that terrible, obviously,” Nick muttered, and then wished he could take the words back. He’d seen for himself the shock and anguish on Connor’s face when he’d been confronted by the sight of Nick in the atrium earlier. It was clear that, whatever had happened, Connor _had_ still missed him.  
  
But talking to him about it was out of the question, at least for the moment. Nick had imagined their reunion a thousand times over the past year, and it was safe to say the scenario in his head had been nothing like _this_. He was still reeling from the revelation that Connor had apparently moved on, and having to hear about it straight from the horse’s mouth, as it were, would be more than he could stand.  
  
Stephen had obviously worked out that this wasn’t the best topic of conversation right now, but it was clear from his face that he wasn’t quite sure what the right change of subject would be. Luckily, their awkward silence was broken by the arrival of Jenny, who was carrying a bag that bulged at the seams, and from which the inviting smells of Chinese food wafted.  
  
“Why am I not surprised to find you in here?” she said, directing a look at Stephen that clearly said that Lester would not be impressed by his allowing Nick entry to the lab.  
  
Stephen sent one back that just as clearly said he didn’t think it mattered, making Jenny sigh and roll her eyes. But she didn’t throw them out, choosing instead to dump the bag on one of the uncovered benches.  
  
“I sent someone out to get this, but we weren’t sure what you’d like, and I wasn’t sure who to ask, so I told them to get a few different things. I hope that’s okay.”  
  
Unspoken was the suggestion that she could have asked Connor, but hadn’t. Nick just smiled at her gratefully, and stood up to peer into the bag. “It all smells great,” he told Jenny truthfully. “And besides, I’m sure Stephen here can help me eat some of it. He was going to tell me about some of the anomalies and creatures you’ve had here over the past year, and I’m sure the conversation will go a lot better with sustenance.”  
  
Jenny looked like she was once more thinking of issuing an admonishment, albeit a less silent one this time, but then she appeared to think better of it. “On your own heads be it,” was all she would say.  
  
“Would you like to join us?” Nick asked hesitantly. “You could stay and censor the discussion if you like.”  
  
That elicited a smile, but Jenny shook her head. “I’ve already eaten,” she replied. “And besides, _I_ don’t think much harm can come from Stephen telling you a few stories. Lester may still have his doubts, but that’s his job. I’m pretty sure you’re really our Cutter.”  
  
“Thanks.”  
  
“Don’t mention it. Now, hadn’t you better tuck in before it starts getting cold? There are some paper plates and some cutlery in the bag too.” Jenny directed a careful look at Nick, and then at Stephen, before turning on her heel and leaving.  
  
Nick started lifting foil trays out of the bag. “Looks like we’ve got kung po chicken and beef in black bean sauce to start with,” he said, reading the labels. “Any preference?”  
  
“You know me – I’ll eat anything,” said Stephen. “Why don’t we just have a bit of each and see how we go?”  
  
Nick nodded, and opened the trays. “So, why don’t you start by telling me a bit more about this anomaly at the British Museum a few weeks ago?” he said. “I’d be interested to hear what you thought of Dr. Page. And perhaps you can give me a few more details about Con…about this anomaly closer that’s being developed. That sounds interesting.”  
  
If Stephen noticed his slip of the tongue, he didn’t show it, and Nick tried to forget about it himself as he dug into the food and listened to Stephen talk.


	3. Chapter 3

It was four days before Lester finally decided that Nick was actually who he said he was, and as far as Nick was concerned, they’d felt like the longest four days of his life.  
  
He’d talked and talked until he was hoarse, relating every detail of his year away that he could remember to either Lester or Jenny, and answering myriad questions about what he’d experienced, and any attempts he’d made to get home.  
  
The questions on the second topic had resulted in rather short answers, since Nick hadn’t _found_ any possible way to get home until Helen had shown up. But he’d been required to explain in exhausting detail the nuances of Helen’s description of how the anomalies moved between timelines, even though he’d protested more than once that he still didn’t really understand it himself, and he was sure Helen had only given him the most rudimentary outline of the theory anyway.  
  
When he wasn’t being cross-examined, Nick had the run of certain parts of the ARC, although he still had to be accompanied by someone at all times, and there were still some areas that were off limits. He thought he detected Jenny’s hand in the amount of freedom he’d been allowed – after she’d found him and Stephen in his lab she’d obviously spoken to Lester on his behalf, and prevented him being cooped up in the bunkroom all the time. He’d made sure to thank her for her efforts the next time he’d seen her.  
  
Still, it was noticeable that he wasn’t allowed access to any of the really important parts of the ARC. Although he could still enter his own lab, the rest of the scientific facilities were out of bounds, as were the creature holding areas. He also wasn’t allowed anywhere near the anomaly detector – Lester obviously suspected sabotage of some kind – and when next he’d visited his lab, his computer was conspicuous by its absence.  
  
Stephen was his minder most of the time, something else for which Nick was grateful, and they whiled away the hours in between interrogations with further discussions about what had gone on while Nick had been away. Nick was fairly sure Stephen was going against Lester’s orders in this – he couldn’t imagine the civil servant would be very happy about a potential impostor being given what was, after all, classified information. But when he’d enquired about the possible rule breaking, Stephen had just rolled his eyes in a manner that clearly showed what he thought of Lester’s instructions in this instance, and carried on relating the latest tale.  
  
But apart from Stephen, and his sessions with Lester and Jenny, Nick didn’t speak to anyone else. Oh, there was the occasional greeting as he passed someone in the corridor, and the odd quick conversation with Lorraine Wickes when she asked him to report to Lester’s office, but that was it.  
  
And secretly, he was glad. He didn’t _want_ to see anyone else right now. Every day he woke up and wondered whether today would be the day when he had to have _that_ conversation, when he had to face what he’d been trying to ignore ever since he walked back into this world.  
  
He’d seen Connor and Abby around, of course. The ARC wasn’t _that_ big, and they still had their work to get on with. But he hadn’t spoken to either of them, and apparently the avoidance was mutual.  
  
Sometimes he could feel one or other of their gazes on him as he crossed the atrium, or climbed up to Lester’s office, but he never looked round. And on more than one occasion he’d witnessed low, heated conversations between the two of them from a distance, both of them looking upset and unsure, and he’d known what they were talking about.  
  
He knew Stephen and Jenny were sympathetic. Both of them had tried to talk to him about it on more than one occasion, but he’d brushed the topic aside, and eventually they’d had the sense to give up. Even Lester, for all his suspicions about Nick’s credibility and intentions, seemed to have sensed that it was a subject best left alone – not once had he alluded to Connor throughout all his questioning.  
  
But now, finally, Lester appeared convinced, and he was free to leave. He could go home, to the house that had been kept for him, and get away from the frankly suffocating atmosphere of the ARC.  
  
Stephen drove him, explaining that the one thing of Nick’s they didn’t still have was his truck.  
  
“We carried on using it for anomaly callouts, and unfortunately it got trampled by an angry ankloysaur,” he said ruefully. “Somehow, Lester never got around to replacing it.”  
  
Nick smiled a half-smile. “Why doesn’t that surprise me?”  
  
“I’m sure Jenny will be able to sort you out some new transport in no time at all though, now you’re back,” Stephen offered. “But in the meantime, you’ll just have to put up with me chauffeuring you around.”  
  
“I’m sure I can cope with that.”  
  
Stephen chuckled, and focused his attention on the road, leaving Nick to gaze eagerly out of the window at familiar landmarks as they passed by, his recognition of the neighbourhood as they neared his house doing more to make him feel like he was finally home than anything else so far.  
  
When they finally pulled up in front of his house, Stephen killed the engine, and they just sat for a moment, looking out at the building. It looked exactly the same as Nick remembered, as if he’d only been gone a day instead of a year. The only indication of the passing of time was the overgrown vegetation in the small front garden, and even that wasn’t so unusual. Nick had never been the green-fingered type, and his house had always had the most unkempt frontage in the street.  
  
Still, the two-foot high grass and the branches straggling across the front path from the bush by the gate made him vow to do at least a bit of maintenance in the near future, and as he waited for Stephen to find the key for the front door, he wondered if his lawnmower still worked.  
  
But as Stephen unlocked the front door and pushed it open, the air of neglect immediately became more apparent. The hallway was cold and empty, a contrast to the summer sunshine outside, and Nick shivered slightly as he crossed the threshold.  
  
The first room he came to was the living room, and as he looked in he could see that his furniture was covered in dustsheets much as his lab had been. He stepped into the room and ran his hand along the top of the indistinct shape that he knew to be his sofa.  
  
“Hang on, I’ll give you a hand with that.”  
  
Together, Nick and Stephen removed the sheet from the sofa, and from some other pieces of furniture. It was almost akin to a thaw after a long winter, as the covers were removed to reveal familiar sights almost forgotten, so long was it since Nick had seen them. He spent several long moments refamiliarising himself with some of the titles on his bookshelves, and smiled to see some of the outlandish souvenirs that he and Stephen – or even Helen, long ago – had picked up during their trips to overseas excavations in the past.  
  
Even finding the piano in the corner was like greeting an old acquaintance. Nick didn’t play much any more, and as he ran his fingers over it, he realised he wouldn’t playing a lot in the immediate future, either – the discordant sound that filled the room when he depressed the keys indicated that the instrument was in dire need of tuning.  
  
Stephen had moved on into the kitchen, leaving Nick to tug at the dustsheet shrouding the final armchair. The covering seemed to be snagged on something, and eventually Nick concluded that simply pulling on it wasn’t going to work, and bent over to see what was wrong.  
  
The sheet appeared to be tangled round the leg of the chair, and it took a moment or two of fiddly manipulations before it finally came free. Nick sneezed as the dust that had accumulated between the chair and the wall was also released, and then realised there was something else stuck in the gap as well, indistinct thanks to his watering eyes. Shoving his hand into the gap, he grabbed the object in question and yanked it free.  
  
Several minutes later, Stephen returned to the living room. “Nick, did you hear me? I said, we’re probably going to need to take a trip to the supermarket. Your cupboards are a bit empty…”  
  
He trailed off as he caught sight of Nick, slumped in the armchair, something not immediately identifiable clutched in his hands.  
  
“Nick, are you all right? What’s that?”  
  
Nick didn’t reply, but instead just held out the object he was holding. It was one of Connor’s hats, looking rather bedraggled and sorry for itself now, but still recognisable.  
  
“He’s probably been looking all over for this,” Nick said flatly. “Maybe you could give it back to him?”  
  
Stephen took the hat carefully and nodded, sympathy written clear across his face. “Are you going to be okay?”  
  
“I’ll be fine.”  
  
There were a few moments of silence, which Stephen eventually broke by clearing his throat awkwardly.  
  
“Look, do you want me to help you with the rest of the house? And like I said, you need to get some food in…”  
  
“It’s fine.”  
  
“Are you sure?”  
  
“Perfectly. You don’t have to.”  
  
“I don’t mind. I mean, I could stay here, if you like. You’ve been through a lot over the past few days.”  
  
“That’s not necessary,” replied Nick. “This is my home. I don’t need looking after.” Suddenly aware that he was snapping, he looked up at Stephen. “Sorry. But if you don’t mind, I think I’d like to be alone for a bit. As you say, it’s been a trying few days, and I don’t really feel like I’ve had time to assimilate everything. To just enjoy being home again.”  
  
Stephen looked like he sincerely doubted Nick was ‘enjoying’ anything at the moment, but he didn’t press further.  
  
“Okay. But if you need anything, just call. All the takeout places have the same numbers, so you won’t starve tonight, at any rate.”  
  
Nick smiled tiredly, and nodded. “Thanks. I’ll see you tomorrow. Perhaps you could pick me up, since I still won’t have my own transport?”  
  
“Not a problem,” Stephen said. He hesitated. “Are you sure you’ll be okay here on your own…?”  
  
“I’ll be fine, Stephen. Please. I just need some time to myself.”  
  
“Fair enough. I’ll leave you to it. I’ll drop the key on the shelf in the hall on my way out.”  
  
Still holding Connor’s hat, Stephen exited the living room, and few seconds later Nick heard the front door click shut, leaving him alone with his thoughts.  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
The next day, Stephen picked Nick up as promised, and took him to the ARC. His reinstatement as a fully paid-up member of this timeline (in Lester’s opinion, at least, and apparently that was the only one that mattered in this instance) meant he had the run of the facility again, and could go where he liked.  
  
However, despite this new freedom, Nick found himself passing the time in his lab once again. Stephen seemed to have sensed that he still needed his space, something for which Nick was grateful, and had left him alone with a joking, “I can catch up on some of my own work now I don’t have to baby-sit you.”  
  
That had drawn a smile from Nick, but when the other man had gone, his sombre mood had settled back over him again, and he’d felt no inclination to venture forth from the lab.  
  
His computer had now been returned, and to distract himself, Nick started to read the reports of the anomaly incidents from the past year. Stephen had told him about a lot of them over the past few days, but there were still plenty of gaps to be filled, and the morning hours slipped away unnoticed, and without disturbances.  
  
Lunchtime was fast approaching, and Nick’s body was starting to make its hungry demands, when he was finally interrupted.  
  
Someone cleared their throat behind him – a little hesitantly, Nick thought, as his attention was jolted from the latest report. He turned, anticipating Stephen, wary of disturbing him, or perhaps someone come to summon him to Lester’s office – again.  
  
He wasn’t expecting to see Connor hovering nervously in the doorway, shifting from foot to foot as if he was about to bolt any second, and looking undeniably anxious as he waited to see what his reception would be.  
  
For a few seconds Nick’s mind went completely and utterly blank, as he stared in surprise at his visitor. Connor must have taken his silence as a rejection, because he immediately started shuffling backwards, turning into the corridor with a muttered apology.  
  
Nick came to his feet suddenly. “Wait, Connor.” His voice sounded hoarse, the words almost getting stuck in his throat, but it was enough to halt Connor in his tracks, the young man coming almost unwillingly back into the room.  
  
There was another moment of silence, and then Nick tried for a smile, and beckoned Connor forward. Connor took one step, but no more, and Nick sensed that was all he was going to get for the moment.  
  
“Can I help you with something?” he asked quietly. It wasn’t what he wanted to ask, but none of the other questions would come to his lips. Or perhaps it was that they’d come too easily, and he didn’t trust himself to be able to stop once he’d started asking. He didn’t know.  
  
Connor, for his part, looked almost relieved (although was there also a hint of disappointment?) at the request. “I wanted to ask you about…about the device Helen gave you,” he said slowly. “The one that detects the fluctuations in the anomalies. I’ve read the reports of everything you told Lester and Jenny, but I wanted to check that that was everything. I’m trying to figure out how it works, you see, and hopefully construct a new one too, and obviously I need all the information for that. So, I just wanted to make sure there wasn’t anything you’d missed…”  
  
The hurried tumble of words trailed off, as Connor looked at Nick a little helplessly. Nick himself didn’t know whether to be angry, or sad, or amused. As excuses went, it was a pretty flimsy one, and he could tell Connor had been gathering his courage all morning to come here, and speak to Nick.  
  
“There’s nothing else,” he told Connor honestly. “Sorry. But Helen didn’t give me a lot of information herself. I’m sure you’ll figure it out, though.”  
  
But far from looking pleased, or even embarrassed by Nick’s faith in him, Connor actually looked vaguely uncomfortable, and Nick suddenly found himself rushing the conversation on.  
  
“What progress have you made with the device?” he asked, keeping firmly to safe topics.  
  
The tiniest of smiles graced Connor’s features. “Well, it’s currently in pieces on a bench,” he admitted. “Don’t worry, I can put it back together again, but I had to deconstruct it to check all the components. I’m still not sure what the device is actually _detecting_ , but there doesn’t seem to be anything unfamiliar in its construction, so I should be able to build some extras.”  
  
“Good,” Nick told him. “Now we know the anomalies are capable of doing this, we need to be able to keep a look out for it. We don’t want anyone else getting stuck.”  
  
“How…how often do you think these timeline switches happen?” Connor asked. His expression had turned uncertain again, and Nick was suddenly sure that the young man had had a different question planned when he opened his mouth. He let the issue slide.  
  
“Who knows? Helen didn’t give me any indication of that, either. She even admitted that she couldn’t predict when they might happen. But we know of at least three instances when _we’ve_ been directly affected by them – when I came here, when Stephen came here, and my latest adventure, of course.”  
  
“I’d be willing to bet it’s happened a lot more times than those, as well,” said Connor. “After all, Helen said that every time someone steps back into the past, they create an offshoot timeline – that’s right, isn’t it?”  
  
Nick nodded.  
  
“Well, think of how many times we’ve been back to the past – we must have created a fair few of the timelines ourselves,” Connor continued. “And Helen must have created a lot more than that – she’s been wandering around time for nearly a decade. I expect even creatures wandering through create them too. And with so many parallel timelines, all with corresponding anomalies in the same places, it seems reasonable to assume that there must be a lot of switches between the timelines as well, even if we’ve been lucky enough to avoid getting tangled up in them – for the most part, anyway,” he finished lamely.  
  
Nick nodded again. “I think, on the whole, we’ve been _extremely_ lucky not to have had more brushes with alternate timelines,” he agreed. “But one thing’s for sure – we’re going to have to be a lot more careful in future. We need more devices like Helen’s if we’re going to make any attempt at finding patterns and predicting the shifts. No pressure, though…”  
  
Connor grinned suddenly. “Don’t worry, I can handle it.”  
  
His optimism was infectious, and suddenly Nick found himself grinning back. For a few moments it was as if the last year hadn’t happened. As if the last few days hadn’t happened.  
  
“Listen, do you think we could…?”  
  
The moment shattered.  
  
“Connor!” Abby’s voice intruded suddenly and completely from the corridor outside, and Nick’s question was left unfinished.  
  
Then Abby herself appeared in the doorway. “Connor, one of the techs wants you. Something about the anomaly detector behaving oddly…”  
  
She trailed off abruptly, noticing Nick for the first time, and then looking around in surprise, as if only just realising where she was and what she might be interrupting.  
  
A horribly awkward silence fell, as Connor’s eyes darted between the two of them, and Abby’s fixed themselves on Nick, her expression somewhere between uncomfortable and defiant.  
  
Nick took pity on them, even as he found himself wishing that Abby could have delayed her entrance for just a little while longer. Even a minute would have been enough.  
  
But that was unfair. It wasn’t her fault, not really. She couldn’t have known.  
  
He tried to smile. “Hadn’t you better see what’s up with the detector?” he said gently to Connor, and then almost had to look away from the pathetically grateful expression on the young man’s face.  
  
“I probably should,” said Connor, seizing on the excuse a little too eagerly. “I’ll let you know when I’ve made any progress with Helen’s device though, yeah?”  
  
“That would be great,” Nick replied, wondering if his voice sounded as choked as it felt.  
  
Connor nodded quickly, and then turned and disappeared, almost tripping over his feet in his haste.  
  
Abby remained for a few more seconds, and Nick summoned up his courage.  
  
“Abby, can we…?”  
  
But she shook her head at him once, fiercely, and then she too was gone.


	4. Chapter 4

  
Nick stood alone on the concrete walkway that encircled the atrium (no, it was the operations room now, he reminded himself, because of all the…well, operations that went on in there), arms resting on the railing in front of him as he watched Stephen and Lieutenant Anders leaning against a bench below, chatting. The space was deserted except for them, and their voices and laughter carried to him easily, although he couldn’t quite make out the words.  
  
He debated going down there, joining in their conversation, laughing along with them. But something stopped him. He would feel like an intruder, he knew. It wasn’t a comfortable thought.  
  
“He missed you a lot, you know,” a soft voice said suddenly.  
  
Nick started, and looked round to find Jenny standing a few feet away, a slight smile curling her lips.  
  
“Who?” he asked, playing dumb, although he wasn’t really sure why.  
  
Jenny’s expression told him she wasn’t fooled, but she nodded downwards anyway as she moved to stand next to him, her hand settling on the railing next to Nick’s elbow.  
  
“Stephen. He missed you,” she repeated.  
  
“Well, I missed him too,” Nick replied honestly. “I missed everyone. Even Lester.” He tried a smile of his own. “Well, maybe not.”  
  
Jenny’s laughter was genuine, but her next words indicated that she wasn’t to be sidetracked from her point.  
  
“Stephen struggled though,” she said. “More than most.”  
  
Nick frowned. “Why should that be?”  
  
Jenny looked at him for a long moment. “You forget,” she said eventually, her voice quiet. “He’s not your Stephen. He’s not _our_ Stephen. He came from somewhere else. Like you.”  
  
“So?”  
  
“So you were the one who understood what he went through. And even though you’re not _his_ Cutter either, you’re the constant in his world, in his old timeline and this one. He was still trying to get used to being _here_ when you vanished.”  
  
“Oh.”  
  
“It was hard for him without you here. All of a sudden he didn’t have you to lean on. He had to be strong, stand on his own two feet.”  
  
“Maybe that was good for him.”  
  
“It probably was,” Jenny allowed. “But with you gone, he had to forge new bonds, new friendships, to combat his loneliness. Because it _is_ lonely being out of your time. You should know that.”  
  
“But I dealt with it. I found my place…”  
  
“And so has Stephen,” said Jenny softly. “He had to.”  
  
Another burst of laughter drifted up from below, and Nick swivelled his eyes downwards in time to see Anders give Stephen a playful swat on the shoulder, and Stephen’s resulting expression of mock-outrage.  
  
 _That should be me._  
  
The thought came suddenly, unexpectedly, and Nick couldn’t stop the next words from slipping from his lips.  
  
“He seems to have succeeded very well.” He could hear the bitter tone in his voice, and it surprised him.  
  
Although not, it seemed, Jenny. “Yes, he has,” she responded noncommittally.  
  
“How long have they been mates for, then?” Nick asked, gesturing to the pair.  
  
“A few months. The lieutenant invited Stephen out for a drink one night with the rest of the soldiers. It surprised everyone a bit, I think. Jason Anders is not known for his…perception, shall we say?” Jenny’s smile faded when she didn’t get an answering one from Nick. “Anyway, it went on from there. I think Anders and Corporal Carter took him under their wing a bit. And they ended up friends.”  
  
“Well, I’m back now, so…”  
  
“Nick do you really think you can just swoop in and take Stephen back? It doesn’t work like that. Quite apart from anything else, he’s not yours to take.” Jenny paused. “He’s still your friend. Of course he is. But he’s _their_ friend too.”  
  
“But what about me?” Again, Nick could stop the words from slipping out, although he hated how self-pitying they sounded. “Now who’s the one who’s alone and struggling? Now who needs help?” He took a breath, feeling a surge of anger. “He seems far more concerned with hanging out with his new mates than he does with me. I need someone now, but I have no one. Everyone seems to think I should be fine now. I’m home, and that’s all that matters. Never mind that I’ve been abandoned, left to fend for myself, left completely alone…”  
  
He trailed off suddenly, and in the ensuing silence became aware that Jenny was looking at him sympathetically. Even Stephen and Anders had broken off their conversation, his outburst loud enough to make them look up in concern. Nick waved them away sharply and then turned his back, leaning against the railing now as he tried to calm himself.  
  
There was another moment of silence, and then Jenny sighed. “We’re not talking about Stephen any more, are we?” she said quietly, almost in a whisper.  
  
Nick shook his head desperately, trying not to hear her words, and then abruptly pushed away from the railing, brushing past her as he fled.  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
“Coffee?”  
  
A mug with steam rising from it was thrust into Nick’s field of vision. The perfectly manicured nails of the hand holding it told Nick exactly who his benefactor was, and he sighed as he took the proffered beverage.  
  
“I thought I’d shaken you off.”  
  
Jenny chuckled a little. “Well, if you were looking for a hiding place, you probably could have found a better one than your own lab. You weren’t particularly difficult to track down.” Then her tone turned sombre. “Drink that – you look like you could do with it.”  
  
Admitting defeat, Nick took the coffee and sipped at it, and then swivelled in his chair so he could raise his eyebrows at Jenny when he detected the flavour of whisky underlying the bitter taste.  
  
“As I said, you look like you could do with it,” repeated Jenny, completely unabashed. “And I recommend you don’t mention this to Lester, otherwise he might be inspired to check the bottle he keeps in one of his desk drawers.”  
  
That drew a small smile from Nick, and he gratefully took another mouthful of the coffee.  
  
He expected Jenny to start asking him questions, but instead she just watched him steadily as he drank, leaning against one of his lab benches with her arms crossed. It was slightly unnerving.  
  
“Okay, all right,” he said crossly, after a few moments had passed. He’d recognised her tactics, but in his broken down state found he didn’t have the energy to resist them. “I’m not coping very well, is that what you want to hear?”  
  
“Personally, I’d say that’s an understatement, but at least you admitted it,” replied Jenny mildly.  
  
“I just…well, it wasn’t what I expected,” Nick added plaintively.  
  
“Again with the understatement.” Jenny’s expression softened. “Of course you didn’t expect it,” she said softly. “And to be fair, I don’t think Connor did either. Or Abby.”  
  
“But that doesn’t change what they did,” Nick said. “What _he_ did.” He could hear the bitterness spilling into his voice again, and part of him hated himself for it. But the other part…  
  
 _Oh, the hell with it. Don’t I have a right to feel bitter?_  
  
“All he had to do was wait,” he continued. “Is that so hard? Couldn’t he have waited just a little bit longer?”  
  
“And how long did you wait?” Jenny asked quietly.  
  
“What? What do you mean? I never _stopped_ waiting! I spent the whole damn time I was there hoping and dreaming of getting home. I never gave up.”  
  
“Really? Never? Didn’t you ever entertain the idea that you might not get back, and that you’d have to move on and make a new life for yourself?”  
  
“What?” said Nick again. “No, of course I didn’t…”  
  
Then he trailed off as he caught Jenny’s sceptical expression. He was lying. To her and to himself. Truthfully, _hadn’t_ he started to accept his new life in that other timeline? To give up and just settle for what he had?  
  
“Okay, so I had to try and make something of myself there,” he admitted. “But that doesn’t mean I stopped _wanting_ to get back. That place wasn’t home. It wasn’t where I wanted to be. But it seems that the same isn’t true here. It seems to have been very easy for Connor to stop wanting _me_. He seems to have had no trouble at all moving on.”  
  
Nick couldn’t stop the anger from welling up now. He was angry at himself for his weakness in that other timeline. He was angry at Connor for giving up on him. He was angry at Abby for being the other woman. He was angry at Stephen for finding new friends. And he was angry at Jenny for making him admit it all.  
  
“Oh, Nick.” Jenny looked almost as if she was about to start crying. “You know it wasn’t like that. You know it wasn’t easy for him…”  
  
“Spare me,” Nick interrupted savagely. “I don’t want to hear it.”  
  
“But you…”  
  
The detector siren went off, interrupting Jenny again. As Nick stood up quickly, he noticed her smoothing a professional expression back on to her face, and he wondered how much of his own emotional turmoil was showing in his features. He shook his thoughts away, and stalked out of the lab. He might not be looking forward to seeing the other members of his team right now, but he couldn’t help but be thankful to the anomaly for saving him from further interrogation.  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
The drive to the anomaly site, about an hour away, was a quiet one. Jenny had opted to travel in Connor and Abby’s car, while Stephen had taken it upon himself to drive Nick, a replacement for Nick’s truck having still not been procured. The soldiers were following along behind in their own vehicle.  
  
Nick didn’t know whether Jenny had had a quiet word with Stephen before they’d left, but whether she had or not, the other man didn’t speak to him for the entire journey. Nick couldn’t decide if this was a good thing or not. In the mood he was in, any conversation was likely to end with him snapping at Stephen, and he knew Stephen didn’t really deserve that. But _no_ conversation meant that he was free to dwell on all the emotions Jenny’s questioning had dragged up.  
  
He’d only been back for a little over a week, and apparently people were expecting him to have adjusted already. To be happy that he was home and leave it at that. Apparently he was just supposed to accept all the changes he’d found.  
  
Deep down, he knew that he was being unfair. People _were_ trying to help him. Jenny and Stephen had both been there for him, and he knew that they would both listen if he wanted to talk. Although they should both know by now that he wasn’t the type of man to pour out his feelings unless the situation was extreme.  
  
But none of that changed the fact that the one person he wanted to be there for him, _wasn’t_.  
  
And there didn’t seem to be a damn thing he could do about it.  
  
Stephen cleared his throat softly, and Nick blinked a couple of times before realising that the car had stopped.  
  
“We’re here.”  
  
“Good. Great.” Nick clambered from the vehicle, very aware that he sounded like he thought their arrival was anything but those two things.  
  
They’d pulled up a few metres away from the other car, and Jenny, Connor, and Abby were already huddled together in front of it. Nick could hear the rhythmic _ping_ of one of the handheld detectors, although the sound was almost drowned out by the engine of the 4x4 carrying Jacobs and his men as they stopped behind the first two cars.  
  
“The anomaly is that way,” Connor was saying, pointing a little tentatively as he addressed his words to Jenny. “On the other side of the field, I’d say.”  
  
“Well, we’d better get going then, hadn’t we,” Nick said, before Jenny could answer. “Abby, Stephen, bring two of the tranquilliser guns. Hopefully we can sort this out quickly, and then we can all go home.”  
  
Out of the corner of his eye he could see Stephen nodding mildly, while Abby was busying herself with the case of tranquilliser weapons, pointedly not looking at him.  
  
Not waiting to see if anyone would follow, Nick set off across the field.  
  
The anomaly was indeed on the other side of the field, but not at ground level, which explained why Nick hadn’t been able to see it until he was almost on top of it.  
  
Around the edge of the field ran a deep ditch, in the bottom of which sat the anomaly, only the very top of it visible above the rim of the dip. It was awkwardly situated, to say the least, although Jenny could see one plus point of its location.  
  
“At least its pretty well hidden down there,” she said with relief. “If it was any higher anyone driving along the road would be able to see it.”  
  
Stephen and Captain Jacobs were inspecting the hedge that rose straight up from the opposite lip of the ditch.  
  
“There’s no obvious damage to it,” Stephen said. “It doesn’t look like anything’s come through and blundered that way.”  
  
“Unless it was big enough to step right over it,” chimed in Connor.  
  
“If it was that big there’d be some obvious tracks,” said Nick snappishly.  
  
“Well, what about if it was small enough to slip through the branches?” pointed out Abby, her expression turning triumphant when Nick couldn’t think of an obvious comeback to that suggestion.  
  
“Oh, for God’s sake,” muttered Jenny. “Look, is there any evidence at all that a creature has come through the anomaly?”  
  
Both Stephen and Jacobs shook their heads. “Looks like we might have got lucky for once,” the captain offered.  
  
“Good.” Jenny threw a sharp look at Nick, and then turned to Connor. “Any sign of it getting weaker?”  
  
“Not at the moment,” replied Connor, after a moment’s hesitation. “Although I can’t really tell how long it will last for.”  
  
“A boring one, then,” said Stephen lightly.  
  
“Looks like it,” said Connor, the smallest of smiles crossing his lips.  
  
“Right,” said Jacobs. “We’ll set up a cordon around the anomaly, but hopefully we won’t need to do much more than that. The ditch should contain anything of moderate size that comes through until we can tranquillise it or herd it back, and the hedge will provide an effective barrier on the other side of it unless, as Mr. Temple so helpfully pointed out, something _really_ big appears.” He started directing his men. “Rees, you go down into the ditch on this side of the anomaly, Anders, you go down the other side. Carter and Hart can cover you from above. Miss Maitland and I will remain in the field proper in case anything should manage to get up here.”  
  
Stephen and Anders immediately moved off to the right, chatting as they positioned themselves about ten metres from the anomaly. Rees and Carter went left and arranged themselves similarly. Nick could sense Jacobs standing guard behind him as he stood on the edge of the ditch and looked down directly on to the shard of dancing light. He found himself wishing that something _would_ come through – at least it would provide him with a distraction.  
  
It was about ten minutes before something happened. Although unfortunately that something _wasn’t_ the appearance of a creature through the anomaly.  
  
“Ni…Professor?”  
  
Nick turned to see Connor hovering uneasily a few feet away. “Yes, Connor, what is it?” he demanded, impatient with Connor’s dithering, even though he knew it was an unreasonable reaction. Some distance away, Jacobs was carefully ignoring their exchange, although Jenny was throwing them worried looks.  
  
“Well, it’s this.” Nervously, Connor held out something. Looking closer, Nick saw it was Helen’s device for detecting the timeline fluctuations. It looked intact.  
  
“This is a new one, not the original one,” Connor added quickly. “I finished building it this morning, and I thought we could test it out. Don’t worry, I brought Helen’s along as well – at least we know _this_ one works, so we can compare the readings to check the new one is functioning properly too.”  
  
Nick reached out and took the device as Connor rummaged in his bag and produced Helen’s original. Despite himself, he was impressed. “You’ve done a good job on this, Connor,” he muttered gruffly.  
  
Connor ducked his head at the praise, and then looked up again, a little more hopeful now. “Shall we try them out?” he asked tentatively.  
  
“Why not? We’ve got nothing else to do.”  
  
Together they switched on the devices, and then studied the readouts. The readings on the new version that Connor had built looked exactly the same as on Helen’s device, which certainly implied that the new one was working properly. But there were no immediate indications that the anomaly was doing anything odd.  
  
“We may have to wait a bit,” Nick said. “It took several hours for any fluctuations to occur when I was on my way back.”  
  
“Oh.” Connor looked slightly forlorn, and for a moment Nick wanted to reach out and pat him comfortingly on the shoulder. He curbed the impulse, and turned away slightly.  
  
“Let’s just see what happens, shall we?”  
  
But an hour later, nothing _had_ happened. There had been no changes to the readings on either of the devices, and what was more, the anomaly still hadn’t produced any creatures. Everyone was starting to get a bit fidgety, including the soldiers, and Jenny had been heard to suggest more than once that maybe she should go and sit back in the car. Jacobs had asked Connor a couple of times whether the anomaly was showing any signs of weakening yet, and both times Connor had responded in the negative, adding that he still couldn’t tell how long the portal might be open for.  
  
Nick stirred, and glanced again at his readout. Still nothing. Beside him, Connor sighed.  
  
“Maybe this isn’t an anomaly that switches between timelines,” he offered, his expression indicating that he was wondering if he was going to get snapped at for saying something stupid again.  
  
“Maybe,” Nick replied. “But I’m not sure. I’ve been thinking, what if the fluctuations are only available from the other side of the anomaly, the side from which the alternate timeline was created? Helen didn’t say that was the case, but it would make logical sense.”  
  
“It does,” Connor agreed. Then he frowned. “But wouldn’t that mean we’d have to go through the anomaly to find out if you’re right?”  
  
“Yes,” said Nick. Abruptly, he scrambled to his feet.  
  
“What are you doing?”  
  
“I’m going to test the theory. You can come if you like.” He walked to the edge of the ditch.  
  
“But shouldn’t we, you know, run it past Jenny, or Captain Jacobs, first?” said Connor, getting up quickly.  
  
Nick looked around. Jacobs and Jenny were a little way off, obviously discussing what their next step would be. And Abby had gone over to talk to Stephen, her conversation also including Lieutenant Anders down in the ditch. No one was near Nick and Connor.  
  
 _Perfect._  
  
“I’m the leader of this team,” Nick told Connor. “And I say we’re going to test out this theory.” A feeling of recklessness swept through him. “Come on, it’ll be fine. Nothing’s come through, so I think we can assume it’s not dangerous on the other side. And we won’t stay long, I promise. If we still get no fluctuations after a few minutes, we’ll come right back.”  
  
“Well…”  
  
“Look, you can stay behind if you want to,” said Nick bluntly. “But I’m going.”  
  
Obviously conflicted, Connor nonetheless nodded. “All right. I’m coming.”  
  
“Hurry up, then.” And without further ado, Nick slid down into the ditch, scuffling behind him telling him Connor was following.  
  
Lieutenant Rees looked round from his position several yards away as they both landed in front of the anomaly. “Professor, what are you doing?”  
  
“We’re just going to check something out. Don’t worry.”  
  
“But have you cleared with the captain?”  
  
“Don’t need to. We’re only going to be a few minutes.”  
  
“Connor?” The lieutenant looked sharply at Connor. “Is everything all right?”  
  
“It’s fine, really,” Connor replied, in an uneasy tone that convinced nobody. “Like the professor said, we won’t be long.”  
  
“Look, I really think you should wait until…”  
  
“ _Don’t worry_ ,” said Nick impatiently. “We’ll be back before Jacobs even realises we were gone. Okay? Come on, Connor.”  
  
He stepped through the anomaly.  
  
Rees’ further protests were cut off immediately as Nick emerged on the other side, Connor following close behind. Glancing around quickly, Nick established that there were indeed no dangerous animals close by, and nowhere for them to be hidden in ambush either. He felt a momentary smugness at being right.  
  
“Oh wow.” Connor was looking around at the landscape in amazement, his enthusiasm for travelling through the anomalies unquenched, and Nick was suddenly rather forcibly reminded of the comparison he’d made between Connor, and Dan in the other timeline. And how much he’d wished everyday that he had the original back.  
  
Well, now he did. Except that he was still wishing.  
  
“Never mind that,” he said brusquely, pushing his moment of melancholy away. “Let’s check for those fluctuations, see if I was right.”  
  
But they’d hardly started examining the readouts again when the anomaly pulsed a couple of times, and Captain Jacobs and Lieutenant Rees appeared.  
  
Jacobs walked right up to Nick, his face like thunder, and grabbed his arm.  
  
“What in the hell do you think you’re doing, Professor?”


	5. Chapter 5

“What in the hell do you think you’re doing, Professor?”  
  
Out of the corner of his eye, Nick could see Connor looking back anxiously over his shoulder as Lieutenant Rees herded him towards the anomaly. Then Jacobs shifted his stance to block his view, and Nick’s eyes flicked back to the captain’s angry face.  
  
“We were only going to be a few minutes,” he blustered. “Back in a flash, but we needed data that we could only get from this side of the anomaly.”  
  
“Not good enough,” Jacobs responded. “It’s my responsibility to ensure the safety of everyone on this team, and I can’t do that if they go waltzing off through anomalies at the drop of hat. And as if it wasn’t bad enough that you put yourself in danger, you had to drag Temple along for the ride as well.”  
  
“We’re in no danger,” Nick protested. “Look around. There’s nothing even remotely dangerous here.”  
  
“And what about if the anomaly were to close?”  
  
“It’s not showing any signs of closing.”  
  
“But hasn’t Connor said numerous times this afternoon that he can’t predict _when_ it will close? It might have shut with no warning at all, leaving you two stranded.”  
  
“But it…”  
  
“ _Enough_. We’re going back _now_. No arguments.”  
  
For a second Nick thought about arguing anyway, and then a shred of deeply buried common sense warned him to keep quiet. He still remembered what had happened when he had tried to argue with Ryan in the Permian, the very first time they’d travelled through an anomaly, and he wasn’t completely sure that Jacobs wouldn’t take a leaf out of the other captain’s book on this occasion.  
  
He allowed himself to be marched back to the anomaly, stepping through the swirling shards with ill grace. Rees had taken Connor through some moments before, and as Nick re-emerged in his own time, he could already see that Abby had taken the young man off the lieutenant’s hands. She seemed to be alternately yelling at him and fussing over him, but as Nick walked away from the anomaly he could sense her eyes on him, and knew who she’d much rather be yelling at.  
  
“Nick, what the hell did you think you were playing at?”  
  
It only took half a second for Nick to work out that there was no chance of escape. Stephen and Jenny were bearing down on him, the former with a mixture of incredulity and sympathy gracing his features, while the latter looked like nothing so much as an avenging fury. Except Nick suspected a fury would be friendlier.  
  
“We were just checking something out,” he defended himself, as the pair came to a halt in front of him.  
  
“Without letting anyone know? Without thinking about the danger you might be putting yourself – and Connor – in?”  
  
“Not the cleverest thing you could have done, Cutter,” Stephen put in, his voice milder than Jenny’s, but no less censorious.  
  
“We were getting nowhere on this side of the anomaly,” Nick said, frustrated that no one would listen to him, even for a moment. “We needed to check whether the devices were working properly, and we couldn’t do that without going through.”  
  
“But you should have mentioned it to someone else first!” said Jenny, obviously equally frustrated. “You should have organised it properly – taken some of Jacobs men, established how long you were going to be, prepared for certain eventualities.”  
  
“And what if the anomaly had closed while we were organising all that? Then we would have missed our opportunity.”  
  
“And what if the anomaly had closed while you were on the other side?” Jenny snapped, unknowingly echoing Jacobs’ words. “You would have been trapped.”  
  
“It wasn’t going to close,” Nick muttered. Why wasn’t anyone _listening_ to him?  
  
“And what would you have done if you had detected some fluctuations?” said Stephen suddenly.  
  
“What do you mean?”  
  
“Well, as I understand it, fluctuations mean the anomaly has switched timelines. Ergo, if you _had_ detected them, the timelines _would_ have switched.” Stephen paused for impact. “Meaning that you wouldn’t have been able to get back to this timeline. You would have ended up in exactly the same situation as you got yourself into last time.”  
  
Nick gaped at him for a moment, and then abruptly deflated. “Oh.” Of course he had known that was a possibility, but he hadn’t really _thought_ about it. He’d been too concerned with following his own path and doing what he wanted. As usual.  
  
“And this time Connor would have been stuck with you,” Jenny added, clearly still angry. “What were you _thinking_ , putting him in danger like that?”  
  
Nick glanced towards where Abby was still checking Connor over. She seemed to have left off glaring at Nick for the time being, but as he watched them, Connor turned to look at him instead, his expression somewhere between sheepish and sad. Nick looked away quickly.  
  
Both Jenny and Stephen had caught the direction of his gaze, and Jenny sighed loudly as Nick stared down at his feet. “I’m going to check on Connor,” she said pointedly. “And then I’m going to accompany both of you back to the ARC. Stephen and Abby can stay here with Jacobs and his men, and keep an eye on the anomaly until it closes.”  
  
She stalked off, leaving Nick feeling rather like he’d just been told off by a very strict headmistress. He supposed he should be grateful he hadn’t been caned into the bargain. He continued staring at his feet, only looking up when Stephen placed a hand on his shoulder.  
  
“Look, Cutter, I know you didn’t really mean to put anyone in danger, and I know you’ve had a tough time of it lately, but try thinking about what you’re doing for longer than a second next time, okay? That was pretty stupid, what you did.”  
  
Nick felt about two inches tall. For some reason Stephen’s sympathetic admonishment had more effect than all Jenny’s snapping, and he nodded slowly.  
  
“I know,” he said miserably. “I don’t know what came over me.”  
  
Stephen was now looking towards where Connor was being fussed over by two women. “If it was some kind of attempt to punish Connor for what’s happened…” he began, but Nick cut him off with a horrified exclamation.  
  
“What? Of course it wasn’t. What kind of person do you think I am?”  
  
Stephen looked at him steadily, and unwillingly, Nick forced himself to examine his motives. He _hadn’t_ been trying to punish Connor, had he? No, he decided. Not on purpose, anyway. But after his talk with Jenny earlier in the day, there was no denying the anger he’d been feeling, and the truth was that he hadn’t particularly cared what effect his actions might have had.  
  
He resolutely ignored the little voice in the back of his mind that was suggesting that if he and Connor had been trapped together, whether that was in the past or in another timeline, Connor would have been all his again. If that didn’t prove how messed up his head had become, then nothing did.  
  
“I just… I wasn’t thinking, all right,” he said softly. “I’m sorry.”  
  
Stephen squeezed his shoulder gently. “I know you are,” he said. “But really, it’s not me you should be apologising to.”  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
Connor was sitting at one of the workbenches in the operations room when Nick found him, absently turning Helen’s device over and over in his hands as he stared at something that only he could see.  
  
Nick hovered awkwardly for a few moments, torn between announcing himself, and running away before Connor actually realised he was there. Maybe this would be best left until later…  
  
“I’m thinking of calling it the timey-wimey detector.”  
  
“What?” Connor’s words made very little sense, even without their suddenness. Nick mentally revised his options. There would be no running away now.  
  
“This.” Connor held up the device. “Maybe I can make it go ding when there’s stuff.”  
  
Nick sensed there was some kind of joke here, but it was difficult to tell when Connor was delivering it in such a flat, uninterested voice. In any case, the reference was completely passing him by.  
  
“Okay…” he said cautiously. “Whatever you like.”  
  
“Of course, it’s not going to go ding at all unless we can find something for it to detect.”  
  
It was the perfect opening, and Nick knew he had to take it. “Look, Connor,” he began hesitantly. “About earlier…I’m sorry.”  
  
“It doesn’t matter.”  
  
“Yes, it does,” Nick insisted. “I acted on impulse, without considering the consequences, and I dragged you into it too. Even if it did take an ear-bashing from Jacobs, Jenny, _and_ Stephen before I realised that.”  
  
A tiny smile tugged at Connor’s lips, and Nick felt encouraged. “It won’t happen again, I promise,” he said. He couldn’t and wouldn’t tell Connor the reasons behind his reckless behaviour, that was a topic of conversation that he would be avoiding at all costs, but he hoped Connor could hear the sincerity in his voice, if nothing else.  
  
Connor was nodding. “It’s okay. I understand why you did it.”  
  
Nick’s eyes widened fractionally. _Were_ they going to have the conversation, after all? But Connor’s next words made him relax a bit.  
  
“It made sense, what you said before. About the fluctuations only being detectable from the side of the anomaly where any alternate timeline was created. That’s where the switching point is, after all.”  
  
“It does seem logical.” Nick had been thinking about it a little, and had come to the conclusion that, despite its just being an excuse for his idiocy that day, it was a likely theory.  
  
“But it’s not something we can test without going through the anomaly, like we did today,” Connor pointed out, the reminder intensifying Nick’s guilt again for a moment. “And in order to establish that the anomaly _does_ fluctuate means…”  
  
“…that we’ll have to wait for it to switch to another timeline,” Nick finished for him. “Thereby preventing anyone in the past getting back to their _own_ present. Stephen made no bones about pointing that out to me earlier.”  
  
“So we can’t really _test_ the devices at all,” Connor said. “Not without putting someone at risk. Because who knows if the anomaly will switch back to the original timeline before it closes?”  
  
“No one,” Nick acknowledged. “Not even Helen knew that. She hadn’t been able to detect a pattern, although I don’t know how long she’d been observing the phenomenon for.”  
  
“Does this mean we can never go through the anomalies again?” Connor asked suddenly, his voice quiet. “I mean, if any anomaly could feasibly switch to another timeline at any given moment, then it won’t ever be safe unless we can work out a way to predict it. These devices we have now tell us when it’s happened, but they can’t prevent it, or warn us in advance.”  
  
“I don’t know,” replied Nick. “I don’t really know what it means for anomaly travel. All I know is that there must be hundreds of alternate timelines out there by now. And we really have very little control over their creation.” He sighed. “The whole thing’s a mess, and who knows what effects we could see.”  
  
They were both silent for a moment, and then Connor’s expression grew interested again. “Do you think we’ve seen creatures from alternate timelines here?” he mused. “That would be cool. There might be creatures in other timelines that never evolved in this one at all.”  
  
Nick thought for a moment. “It seems unlikely,” he said eventually. “Unless the timeline they were coming from was a direct offshoot of this one, and even then, it would be a hell of a coincidence for a creature to have moved back in time, and then move forward again into our timeline.”  
  
“But…but…” Connor was looking increasingly excited. “What about those triceratops and the raptors? Do you remember? Months – well, years now – ago it was. We never could work out why they were there together, from the same anomaly, when the fossil record shows them existing millions of years apart.”  
  
Nick remembered exactly the instance Connor was referring to, although chiefly because the young man had been injured, and less because of the dinosaurs. It had been early in their relationship, when everything had still been a little uncertain, and they’d both still been finding their feet and learning how to be with each other.  
  
Suddenly Nick wanted nothing more than to be back in that time, so that he could experience those days with Connor over again, and treasure them more than he had the first time around. The memory was a poor substitute, at best.  
  
“Cutter?” Connor was looking at him oddly, and Nick realised he’d been drifting. He gave himself a mental shake, and smiled at the other man.  
  
“Sorry, I lost the thread there for a minute. What were you saying?”  
  
Connor’s eyes were entirely too knowing, but luckily he didn’t press the issue, and Nick mentally sighed in relief.  
  
“About the triceratops and the raptors. Could they have come from a different timeline, do you think? One where they co-exist? Or maybe they came from two _separate_ alternate timelines, and happened to end up in this one at the same time. No, that’s too farfetched. But it could be that…”  
  
Nick allowed Connor’s words to wash over him, nodding encouragingly at the young man’s theories, and occasionally chiming in with a few of his own. He’d missed this – these discussions about science and the anomalies that no one else could really follow. And he was glad to see that, despite everything else that was going on, Connor was still Connor. Still the same enthusiastic, intelligent young man he’d left behind.  
  
He only wished that other things were still the same, too.  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
The weeks passed, and things continued to grow…well, if not more comfortable, then at least less awkward. By mutual silent agreement, Nick and Connor were keeping their relationship on a strictly professional footing. Together they continued to theorise about the anomaly timeline fluctuations, and tinker with the monitoring devices to see if they could work out what they were actually detecting. Lester had banned anyone from going through any more anomalies, except in the direst of circumstances, until they knew more about the phenomenon, and their discussions went on for hours. Hours in which Nick could almost forget that anything had changed. Although he was always careful never to let himself lapse too far into familiarity that he knew Connor would now find unwelcome.  
  
Connor also told Nick more about his as yet unsuccessful anomaly locking device, and while Nick couldn’t really offer any material insights on the matter, not having been present at the British Museum when the accidental locking had occurred, he felt that Connor was glad to have someone to talk to about it who understood at least half of what he was saying.  
  
But outside of work and the anomalies, they had very little contact. On those occasions when Nick did manage to drag himself away from the ARC for some rest and relaxation (or when Jenny and Lester formed a coalition to force him out), he found himself either spending time alone, or with Stephen. Remembering what Jenny had told him, he decided this would be a good opportunity to renew his friendship with the other man, and he hoped he was succeeding.  
  
One memorable evening he’d even let Stephen take him to the pub to meet up with Lieutenant Anders, Corporal Carter, and Lieutenant Rees. But by the end of the night he’d ruefully decided that, while the soldiers had been surprisingly good company, if he accepted the invitation again he’d be limiting his alcohol intake on the grounds that he didn’t want to destroy his liver just yet. Anders in particular seemed to have no problem in drinking all comers under the table.  
  
Life settled into a routine again that, while it wasn’t what he wanted, was at least liveable, and Nick tried to be content with it.  
  
But there was one person that didn’t seem to fit into that routine, and that was Abby.  
  
Nick didn’t blame her for the way things had turned out – not exactly – and yet he couldn’t seem to find a way to talk to her. And she seemed, if anything, even less willing to talk to him. Oh, they communicated – about anomalies, and about creatures – but that communication was always scrupulously polite, and there was a distance between them that never seemed to close.  
  
He regretted it, and he hoped that she did too. And he knew too that Connor was caught squarely between them, and that wasn’t fair. But right now he really wasn’t sure what to do about it.


	6. Chapter 6

The round, pulsing graphic swept across the map for a few more seconds before finally settling on an area of land marked ‘Thackeray Hall’. Connor’s fingers were already dancing across the keyboard, searching for more information, when Jenny said hopefully, “Tell me it’s derelict. Tell me it’s closed for renovation. Tell me it’s privately owned – even that would be better than nothing.”  
  
“Sorry,” Connor replied, as a website popped up on his screen, proclaiming the hall to be one of southern England’s ‘best preserved stately homes’. “But it looks like we’re not getting lucky today.”  
  
“And it’s peak tourist season,” Nick pointed out. “There’ll be plenty of people around.”  
  
“Wonderful,” Jenny sighed. “Just for once, it would be nice if an anomaly could appear in the middle of nowhere, without a hundred members of Joe Public around just waiting to poke their noses in.”  
  
“I don’t think there’s such a thing as the middle of nowhere in this country any more,” Nick said. He looked at the map again. “We’re just going to have to do the best we can.”  
  
Jenny sighed again. “I suppose so.” She looked at Nick. “We’d better round everyone up then, and make a move, if we want to avoid a complete disaster.”  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
Nick peered ahead as Thackeray Hall finally appeared around a bend in the road. He, Jenny, and Connor were in the lead vehicle of their little convoy, with Stephen and Abby in the truck behind, and both Jacobs’ and Davis’ units bringing up the rear in two more vehicles. With so many people around on this bright summer’s afternoon, and with the anomaly placed somewhere within hundreds of hectares of rolling parkland, Nick hadn’t wanted to take any chances, and had requested as much military backup as possible.  
  
The four vehicles trundled closer to the hall, their tyres crunching on the gravel of the driveway. Nick had bypassed the turning that had been signposted ‘Visitor Car Park’ in favour of heading straight towards the building, and their procession had already been the subject of some curious scrutiny from a couple of herds of deer as they passed by. Nick had flinched inwardly as he’d considered what might happen to the animals if there was a dangerous prehistoric predator on the loose on the estate.  
  
As he brought the truck to halt on the great sweep of driveway that ran along the frontage of the hall, a small door almost hidden under the imposing staircase that led up to the main entrance opened, and a rather irate looking woman emerged, already gesturing sharply at them, her lips moving in an unmistakeable instruction to turn around and go back.  
  
“My area of expertise, I think,” said Jenny, opening the passenger door of the truck and hopping out gracefully. Nick heard the first few words of her PR patter before she pushed the door shut again behind her, muffling his hearing.  
  
He twisted round in his seat to look at Connor, sitting in the back. “Any idea where the anomaly might be?” he asked.  
  
Connor looked at the display of his handheld detector for a few more seconds before answering. “Well, the good news is that it doesn’t seem to be in the immediate vicinity of the hall. The detector indicates that it’s still more than half a mile away in that direction.” He pointed along a line that went straight through the stately pile they were parked next to. “The bad news is that I still can’t pinpoint exactly where it is.”  
  
“Half a mile away is good enough at this point,” Nick said reassuringly. “The further it is from the house, the less likely some hapless tourist will run across it.” He twisted a bit further to look back the way they’d come. “Pity we can’t say the same for the deer, though. I expect there’s plenty more of them on the estate, looking like nothing so much as a tasty snack.”  
  
Connor looked momentarily alarmed by that idea, but then appeared to steel himself. “We don’t know what’s come through the anomaly,” he pointed out. “Or even if anything _has_ come through.”  
  
“That’s the spirit,” Nick replied. He smiled at Connor’s optimism.  
  
Connor smiled back, ducking his head slightly, and suddenly the atmosphere in the truck was a little different to what it had been a few seconds ago. But before Nick could say anything further, Jenny opened her door again and poked her head in.  
  
“Well, I’ve managed to calm Mrs Rawlins down a bit,” she said, tilting her head minutely in the direction of the woman standing a few yards away, who was still looking irate, but now also a little less like she was contemplating setting the dogs on them. “I’ve told her we’ve received reports of an unexploded World War Two bomb in the park, and she’s agreed to let you proceed.” Jenny leaned a little closer. “I’m not sure she actually believes me, but so long as she doesn’t start asking too many questions I can deal with her.”  
  
Nick nodded. “Good. That’s good.”  
  
“That means I’m going to stay here while you go and find the anomaly. We need to keep all the tourists in the vicinity of the house and out of the park, just in case. It’s possible that we might have to evacuate them all if events take a turn towards the dangerous.”  
  
“That sounds like a plan,” Nick replied. “Do you need anyone to stay here with you, help with the round up?”  
  
“I don’t think so.” Jenny smiled. “Mrs Rawlins seems to think that her house stewards are a sensible bunch. And they’ve all got radios so we can pass information around. It should be fine.”  
  
“All right. But just make sure you stay in contact with us too. Some of Jacobs’ men can come back if you need them.”  
  
Jenny nodded, and then stepped back. “Off you go, then.” She shut the door again, and Nick pulled away. In the rear-view mirror he could see Jenny waving Stephen and Abby’s truck, and the vehicles holding the soldiers, after them, and then she was lost from sight as he rounded the end of the house.  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
Cursing under his breath as the truck bounced violently through another rut, Nick wrenched the steering wheel to the left to keep them on track. Behind him, he heard Connor’s yelp as he was thrown against his seatbelt, and he looked back briefly to see the young man clinging tightly to the handheld detector.  
  
“Sorry,” he said. “The ground looked smoother than this from a distance.”  
  
“It’s fine,” Connor replied. “Although this is bringing back vivid memories of all the times I was car-sick as a child.”  
  
Nick rolled his eyes as he faced forward again. “Any idea how close we are to the anomaly?” he asked.  
  
Connor risked looking at the detector again. “Should be nearly there,” he said. “Just over this next rise, I think.”  
  
Thackeray Hall’s parkland was a gently undulating landscape covered in pasture and small areas of woodland. And while this made for very pretty scenery, the rolling hills meant that the party from the ARC could never see more than a few hundreds yards ahead at any one time – they’d already startled another herd of deer by coming on them unawares, the animals scattering wildly as the four vehicles passed by.  
  
Thus Nick had not caught so much as a glimpse of the anomaly, or any creatures that might have come through it, even though, as Connor said, they must be nearly on top of it by now.  
  
Then the truck crested the top of the rise, and Nick drew in his breath sharply. He barely heard Connor’s delighted, “Oh, wow,” as he stared at the spectacle in front of him.  
  
They had indeed found the anomaly, sparkling gently below them at the bottom of the hill, but Nick was hardly bothered by that right at this moment. It was what the anomaly had produced that was transfixing him. Filling the depression between this rise and the next was an entire herd of _Parasaurolophus_ , their distinctive sweeping crests making for easy identification as they milled around aimlessly.  
  
Bringing the truck to a stop before it could start down the hill towards the creatures, out of the corner of his eye Nick saw Stephen pulling up next to him, the soldiers stopping their own vehicles beyond that. A few of the parasaurolophus had looked round in alarm at the sudden appearance of these unfamiliar objects in their environment, but it seemed that the safety-in-numbers mentality was well ingrained in them, as after regarding the vehicles suspiciously for a few moments, they turned away again.  
  
Nick clambered quickly out of the truck, hearing Connor doing likewise, and went to stand next to Stephen and Abby.  
  
“This is just amazing,” said Abby softly, and Nick turned to look at her quickly, their eyes meeting for a second before they both returned to gazing at the herd below them.  
  
“Yes, it is,” he replied. “We’re so lucky to be able to see sights like this.”  
  
Abby nodded. “The crests on the heads, they look kind of funny, but also like they suit them,” she said.  
  
“The theory is that they use them for vocalisations,” Nick said, and he was proved right seconds later when a low trumpeting sound carried to them from the herd.  
  
Abby looked entranced. “”This is amazing,” she repeated.  
  
Nick smiled, surprised and encouraged by the fragile truce that seemed to have materialised between them.  
  
 _And it only took a herd of eighty million year old dinosaurs to effect it._  
  
Together they continued to gaze at the herd until Captain Jacobs and Lieutenant Davis came over to them, both asking the usual questions.  
  
“They’re herbivores from the late cretaceous,” said Connor, in response to Nick’s ‘go ahead’ gesture. He’d set up his laptop on the bonnet of the truck, and had looked up the parasaurolophus on his database, although neither he, Nick, or Stephen really needed it for identification purposes.  
  
“Herd animals,” put in Stephen, a trifle unnecessarily. “They’ll stick together.”  
  
“So not dangerous?” Jacobs said.  
  
“Well, it might hurt a bit if one of them stepped on you…” Connor began cheerfully, and then trailed off under the captain’s flinty stare.  
  
“No, they’re not dangerous so long as we keep out of their way,” Nick clarified.  
  
“So how does that fit in with us getting them back through the anomaly?” Davis asked.  
  
Nick frowned. “We might be able to herd them back through,” he said. “We’ve done that successfully before. Although these are a bit bigger than anything we’ve attempted it on previously.”  
  
“We don’t know how they’ll react,” Stephen said. “They might take fright at us, or they might ignore us completely.”  
  
“Why don’t we give them a chance to go back on their own?” Abby suggested. She gestured towards the parasaurolophus. “They don’t seem to have found a palatable food source here, so they may well go back of their own accord.”  
  
She appeared to be right. Although there were several stands of trees nearby, and plenty of grass, none of the animals appeared to be eating the unfamiliar vegetation.  
  
“It’s worth a shot,” Nick agreed, ignoring Jacobs’ dismayed look. “We certainly want to avoid stressing them if we can.”  
  
“Fine,” said Jacobs. “We’ll give them a little more time to go home by themselves. But we will _not_ be waiting forever, Professor. I expect you lot to come up with a backup plan that we can implement if necessary.”  
  
Nick nodded obediently, although privately he wasn’t really sure what kind of plan they could come up with that was going to be successful in this situation, apart from waving their arms and making shooing motions at the parasaurolophus. And from the looks on Stephen, Connor, and Abby’s faces, he could tell they were thinking along the same lines.  
  
“And in the meantime,” Jacobs continued. “I’ll have my men set up a perimeter around the herd, to keep an eye on the creatures.”  
  
“All right.” Nick nodded again. “But no shooting at them. They’ll leave you alone if you leave _them_ alone.”  
  
“No promises, Professor,” replied Jacobs. “But we’ll do our best, as always. Although if one of the creatures makes a break for it…”  
  
“That won’t happen,” said Stephen. “Like I said, they’re herd animals. They’d much rather stay in the safety of the group.”  
  
“Good.” Jacobs looked satisfied. “But like _I_ said, no promises. Keeping you safe, and keeping the creatures away from the public are our top priorities. But we _will_ do out best.”  
  
“Thank you, Captain. I know you will.” As Jacobs and Davis walked back to their men, Nick looked at his three companions. “Well, I suppose we’d better start working on that plan, then. Stephen, have you got the binoculars in the car? I want to get a closer look at our guests.”  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
An hour or so later, Nick lowered himself quietly to the grass near to the anomaly, Stephen doing likewise next to him. They had come up with a rudimentary plan to shift the parasaurolophus, should it become necessary (although Nick suspected that Jacobs wasn’t going to approve of it, as ultimately it _did_ basically consist of them waving their arms around and saying ‘shoo’ a lot), and then next spent the next little while observing the creatures, making notes about the behaviour and appearance of the animals and the spatial distribution of the herd. Stephen had pointed out several juveniles that were sequestered in the middle of the group for protection, and Nick had tried to work out what the occasional trumpeting vocalisations might mean, albeit with limited success.  
  
Connor and Abby had remained by one of the trucks, Connor entering Nick’s, Stephen’s, and his own observations into his database, while Abby took what had to be hundreds of pictures with her digital camera. And if they were standing closely together and speaking to each other in low, inaudible voices, well then, Nick would just ignore it.  
  
But eventually his frustration at not being able to observe the parasaurolophus close up had got to him. The binoculars weren’t good enough to see the kind of details he wanted to see, and he’d suggested to Stephen that they make their way down the hill and get closer.  
  
Stephen had agreed instantly, and together they set off down the slope, both grinning conspiratorially about the fact that none of the soldiers were close enough to stop them until it was too late. Although Nick suspected that they’d be getting an earful from Jacobs about their behaviour later. Again.  
  
One or two of the parasaurolophus had looked round as they’d approached, but as with the vehicles, once they’d decided that the new arrivals didn’t pose them a threat, they turned their attention back to their fellow herd members.  
  
Once he’d settled himself comfortably, Nick gazed up at the animals. The closest one was still some thirty yards away, but even so, it seemed to tower over the two men.  
  
“They’re beautiful, aren’t they,” Stephen murmured, and Nick nodded in agreement. Maybe the creatures didn’t conform to everyone’s idea of good looks, but to Nick they _were_ beautiful. And amazing, and incredible.  
  
“I really hope this plan of ours won’t need to be put into practice,” he said quietly. “I’d hate to have to scare them.”  
  
“Hopefully, it won’t come to that.” Stephen sounded optimistic, and with some cause. While they’d been observing from the top of the hill, three or four of the parasaurolophus had apparently become bored with their new vacation spot, and had wandered back through the anomaly. And as they sat on the grass and watched, another appeared to decide it was time to go home, and vanished through the portal, passing within twenty yards of Nick and Stephen, who watched with delight.  
  
A curse, quiet but vehement, was voiced behind them, and they both turned to see Connor and Abby making their way down the hill too, their progress momentarily halted as Connor’s foot had slipped into a rabbit hole.  
  
Their slightly noisier progress had alerted a few more members of the herd, and the dinosaurs gazed at the two younger members of the team for longer than they had at Nick and Stephen before losing interest again.  
  
The pair made it down the hill without any further mishaps, and sat down together on the other side of the anomaly, some distance away from Nick and Stephen. Once again, Nick ignored the fact that they seemed to be joined at the hip.  
  
“You and Abby seemed to be getting on better earlier,” Stephen offered suddenly, with the air of one who wonders if his sally is going to be shot down in flames.  
  
Nick decided not to disappoint him. “Yes,” he answered shortly, not taking his eyes from the parasaurolophus.  
  
Stephen sighed. “Look, Nick, I know things haven’t been easy for you since you got back,” he tried again. “But I’m glad you seem to be adjusting to life here again…”  
  
“Stephen, let’s not spoil they day, huh?” Nick said. “Let’s just enjoy this,” he gestured at the herd in front of them, “while it lasts.”  
  
Sighing again, Stephen nonetheless nodded. “All right. If that’s what you want.”  
  
“It is.”  
  
They watched the parasaurolophus for a few more minutes, noting that a few more of them were starting to become more interested in the anomaly than in their current surroundings, and Nick began to truly hope that Abby might be right, and that the creatures would go home on their own.  
  
Then, suddenly, an alarmed honking noise rent the air, accompanied by the unmistakeable sound of several tons of dinosaur thundering across the ground as it moved at speed.  
  
Nick and Stephen scrambled to their feet, Connor and Abby following suit as the herd collectively looked round sharply in the direction the noises had come from, milling around in agitation.  
  
“Something’s spooked them,” Stephen said.  
  
“On, no, no, no, no, no, no,” Nick muttered. This could end disastrously if the herd decided to scatter. He could see Captain Jacobs and Corporal Carter making their way towards the anomaly, skirting dangerously close to the edge of the herd as they tried to get to their civilian charges. Stephen’s radio crackled, but Jacobs’ communication was swallowed up in the increased vocalisations from the herd, and the noise of their nervous shiftings.  
  
“Say again, Captain. We can’t hear you,” Stephen responded into his own radio.  
  
Nick caught at his arm. “We have to calm them down,” he said desperately.  
  
“And how do you propose we do that?” Stephen replied. “I don’t think they’re going to listen to reason.”  
  
Nick took a few steps closer to the herd and the anomaly. “I don’t know,” he said in frustration. “But we have to do something…”  
  
But it was too late. The herd’s agitation had obviously reached fever pitch, sparked by Nick still didn’t know what, and as one the dinosaurs suddenly turned towards the anomaly, their milling abruptly morphed into a flat out stampede.  
  
Nick looked towards Connor and Abby in time to see Connor start forward suddenly, Abby’s grab at his arm missing him by inches as he darted towards Nick and Stephen. Nick opened his mouth to form the words, “Get back,” but suddenly he was being yanked backwards himself, Stephen pulling at him with enough force that they both tumbled to the ground, which trembled violently as the herd thundered past, disappearing one by one into the anomaly.  
  
“Get off me. Get off me!” Nick shouted wildly, struggling against Stephen’s grip. Connor had been too close to the path of the herd – what if he’d been…? What if he was…?  
  
It was several seconds before he became aware that the last of the parasaurolophus were gone, and that Stephen was saying something to him, practically yelling into his ear in an effort to make him hear.  
  
“He’s fine, Cutter. He’s _fine_. It’s okay. It’s all okay. Look.”  
  
Nick followed the direction of Stephen’s wildly pointing finger until his eyes lighted on Connor and Abby. They were in a heap on the grass, much like he and Stephen were, both white-faced, but more importantly, both _alive_.  
  
Nick knew he’d given himself away, and he cursed his inability to keep his emotions in check. First Jenny, and now Stephen. How many more people were going to find out what a basket case he’d become?  
  
“Are you all right?”  
  
Stephen had got to his feet and was holding out a hand to help Nick up. Nick accepted it, and when he was standing again, looked at Stephen and uttered the lie that he knew neither of them believed.  
  
“I’m fine.”  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
Nick swirled the scotch around in the bottom of his glass for a few seconds before taking a mouthful. He supposed the phrase ‘all’s well that ends well’ could be applied to the day, but to Nick it really didn’t feel like it, even though ultimately they’d all come out of it unscathed.  
  
Jacobs and Carter had reached Nick and Stephen only moments after the last of the herd of parasaurolophus had disappeared through the anomaly, the captain already berating them for their foolishness in getting so close, although his expression said that he was glad they were okay.  
  
The other soldiers had made their way slowly back from where they’d been stationed on the perimeter, Rees making a point of checking all the civilians out, while Bradshaw, a young corporal in Davis’ unit, had unhappily confessed that he was the cause of the stampede. He’d explained that one of the dinosaurs had started to drift away from the herd in his direction, and in trying to shoo it back he’d startled it.  
  
Nick, Stephen, and Jacobs had all told him it wasn’t his fault, and even that he’d done the right thing, their words seeming to put enough heart back into the soldier that he was able to smile when Davis had clapped him on the shoulder and sent him back up to the vehicles with Sergeant Goodman and Corporal Reilly.  
  
Lieutenant Rees’ examination had turned up nothing worse than a tender patch on Nick’s torso where Stephen had accidentally elbowed him as they’d fallen to the ground together, and he’d pronounced them all fit enough to go back to the ARC and debrief. The anomaly had closed while Bradshaw had been giving his explanation, and civilians and soldiers alike set off back to the vehicles, Nick and Stephen climbing into the first one, while Connor and Abby climbed into the second, Carter going with them to drive, as they were both still a little shaken. Nick kept his attention firmly elsewhere, and didn’t try to catch either of their eyes.  
  
They’d picked up Jenny back at the hall, and let Mrs Rawlins know that the little ‘unexploded bomb’ problem had been dealt with. The woman still looked as if she wasn’t buying the story, but she smiled when Jenny waved good-bye to her, the little cluster of house stewards with her waving back as the ARC team departed.  
  
After that it had just been a simple matter of returning to the ARC, telling Lester everything that had happened, submitting to the second ‘necessary’ medical examination that Lester insisted upon, and then Nick could escape.  
  
He’d successfully managed to avoid Connor and Abby while they’d been at the ARC, and now he was home again he was wondering how long he could hide out here before Stephen and Jenny got worried, and Lester started demanding his reappearance at work.  
  
Stephen hadn’t been wrong. Nick _had_ been adjusting to the changes he’d found since he’d returned from the parallel timeline. He even flattered himself that after a shaky start he’d been getting better at it.  
  
Apparently he’d been kidding himself, he reflected with a bitter twist to his mouth. One near death experience, and it all fell apart.  
  
He remembered the little moment he and Connor had shared – had _thought_ they’d shared – earlier in the truck, and cursed himself for a fool as he remembered how closely Connor and Abby had been standing throughout the afternoon, and how they had clung to each other in the aftermath of the stampede.  
  
It seemed he had been kidding himself about a lot of things.  
  
He took another mouthful of scotch, and then stiffened as the doorbell sounded. For a moment he was tempted to ignore it, but then he sighed and started to lever himself off the sofa. The long summer day had faded into darkness while he’d been wallowing in his self-pity, and the lights behind the curtains made it clear he was in. Besides, he knew that the chances of his visitor – Stephen or Jenny, he suspected – simply giving up and going away were slim to nonexistent, despite the lateness of the hour.  
  
Shuffling down the hall, he unlocked the front door and pulled it open. For a moment he couldn’t make out the person standing on the front path, and then Connor stepped into the light flooding out from the hallway, his face a picture of misery.  
  
For a moment they just stared at each other silently. Then Connor spoke.  
  
“I can’t do this any more.”


	7. Chapter 7

“I can’t do this any more.”  
  
Nick’s mind was awhirl. Connor couldn’t do _what_ any more? Be the one in the middle? Be around Nick? Remain on the anomaly project?  
  
 _You know, he might be saying…_  
  
“Look, maybe coming here wasn’t such a good idea. I’ll just go.”  
  
Nick suddenly realised that he had been silent for too long, that Connor was turning to leave, merging back into the darkness beyond the house.  
  
“Connor, wait.”  
  
Connor paused, his legs still in the pool of light flooding the stoop, but his face in shadow.  
  
Nick took a deep breath. “Perhaps you’d better come in.”  
  
There were a few more seconds hesitation, and then Connor nodded, moving back into the light and through Nick’s front door as Nick stood back to let him past.  
  
“Go into the living room. You, er, know the way.”  
  
Connor nodded again, and Nick followed him down the hall.  
  
“Take a seat.” Gesturing, Nick indicated the end of the sofa that had been Connor favourite spot without even really thinking about it, and then watched as Connor deliberately sat in the armchair instead.  
  
“Drink?”  
  
“No, thanks.”  
  
Nick lifted his glass from where he’d left it on the coffee table, and tossed back the last dregs of his scotch. Then he set the empty glass aside, resolutely not pouring himself another one, despite the fact that he felt like he needed it.  
  
An awkward silence fell. Connor seemed in no hurry to explain his presence, and Nick couldn’t think of any way to start a conversation that wouldn’t sound like he was begging for something. His mind started imagining all sorts of awful possibilities again.  
  
“I thought you’d died today,” said Connor suddenly.  
  
“I…oh.”  
  
“I thought you’d been trampled by the parasaurolophus.”  
  
 _Likewise_ , Nick thought, but he didn’t voice it aloud.  
  
“It made me realise something. That I can’t…”  
  
“…do this any more, I know,” Nick finished for him. He steeled himself. “Connor, don’t leave the anomaly project.”  
  
“What?”  
  
“I know things haven’t been easy lately – for any of us,” Nick hurried on. “But we can’t afford to lose you, and I honestly think you’ll regret it for the rest of your life if you do.”  
  
“Cutter, I…”  
  
“I’ll try harder,” Nick added, knowing he sounded a little desperate now. “It’s not my intention to make you feel awkward in any way, I promise. I thought we were getting on better now, but if I need to try harder, I will.”  
  
Nick had once thought there would be nothing worse than watching Connor with Abby for the rest of his days, but now he knew there was.  
  
“Cutter!” The sharpness in Connor’s voice cut through Nick’s flow of words, although when he looked up from contemplating his fingernails, the young man’s expression was already softening into something kinder.  
  
“That isn’t what I meant,” Connor continued softly. “I’m not going to leave the anomaly project.”  
  
“You’re not?”  
  
“No, of course not. I could never do that.”  
  
“Oh. Then what…?”  
  
For a moment Nick thought he spied an amused twinkle in Connor’s eye, but if he had it was gone as quickly as Connor’s momentary exasperation had been.  
  
“I realised something today, when I thought you’d died,” said Connor seriously. He hesitated, suddenly looking apprehensive, then ploughed on. “I realised that I couldn’t live a lie any more.”  
  
 _See? You were so quick to assume…_  
  
Nick squashed the jubilant little voice in his head, and fixed Connor with what he hoped was a calm, measured look. “You’re going to have to spell it out for me, Connor,” he said slowly, in a voice that absolutely did _not_ tremble. “Because I’m not one hundred percent sure what you’re saying here.”  
  
“What I’m saying,” Connor replied, “is that I should have waited for you. I shouldn’t have started this thing with Abby. I want us to be together again,” he finished simply.  
  
There was a roaring sound in Nick’s ears, and he shook his head to try to clear it. Then, suddenly aware of how the gesture might be misconstrued, he looked up quickly.  
  
But Connor was the one now contemplating his hands, and Nick could see the fear in the younger man’s expression as he waited for the verdict.  
  
 _Yes, yes, a thousand times yes. Of course yes._  
  
The words remained unspoken, however. No matter how much Nick wanted it to be that easy, there were things he couldn’t forget, things that stood in their way.  
  
“When I was…away, I thought about you every day, you know,” Nick said quietly. “I won’t lie to you, and say that I never gave up hope of getting home, because a year is a long time. But that doesn’t mean I never stopped _wanting_ to get home. I never stopped wanting to get back to…to get back _you_.”  
  
He paused, but Connor’s eyes were still cast down, so he ploughed on. “And then when I finally did get home, and I found out that you…that you hadn’t waited – well that hurt worse than all the time spent apart.”  
  
“Well, it’s like you said,” Connor said in a low voice. “A year is a long time.”  
  
 _I walked right into that one, didn’t I?_  
  
“But that’s not an excuse,” Connor added, looking up suddenly. “I don’t really have an excuse. Or a reason. Abby and me – it just sort of happened. I was running myself ragged trying to work out what had happened to you, cutting myself off from everyone in my obsession, but she was still there for me. And then, suddenly, it was more than that.” Connor’s eyes dropped again. “She was there for me,” he repeated dully. “She was there for me, when I should have been there for _you_.”  
  
“Stephen told me you and Abby had been together for about three months when I got back,” Nick said. He didn’t want details, he didn’t know why he was asking, but he couldn’t seem to stop himself.  
  
“Sounds about right,” Connor agreed. Then he face twisted suddenly. “God,” he spat disgustedly. “Why couldn’t I have just waited a little bit longer? I mean, you waited for Helen for eight years, and I could barely wait eight months.” He rose to his feet suddenly. “This was a stupid idea. I don’t know what I was thinking. I have no right to ask you for anything.”  
  
“No, wait.” Nick sprang out of his own seat and snatched at Connor before the other man to make it to the hallway. The shock of contact halted Connor in his tracks, and he looked down in bewilderment at Nick’s hand encircling his arm.  
  
“Don’t go,” said Nick softly. “I don’t want you to go.” He tugged a little, and Connor allowed himself to be led back into the room and seated again, this time on the sofa, so Nick could sit beside him.  
  
“Connor. Connor, look at me.” Nick waited until Connor reluctantly raised his head and looked at him, although he could see how much it was costing the younger man. “I don’t blame you,” he said firmly. “It hurt me a lot, but I understand why it happened, and I don’t blame you.”  
  
And surprisingly, it was true. His anger of the period immediately after his return had died, and although he still wished that Connor had been his to return to, Nick didn’t begrudge Connor taking another chance at happiness. Or Abby, for that matter. Wouldn’t he have done the same himself if he’d had to stay in that other timeline?  
  
“I wouldn’t have wanted you to wait for me forever,” he continued. “And, I suppose, if you had to chose anyone to move on and make a life with, I’m glad you chose Abby.” He hesitated. “You told me that you told her you loved her once,” he reminded Connor. “Perhaps you still do.”  
  
Connor thought for a moment. “Maybe I do,” he said eventually. “But I don’t think it’s in the way you mean,” he added, and Nick’s heart, which had clenched painfully for a moment, returned to its normal rhythm.  
  
“Abby and me, we’re friends. The _best_ of friends,” Connor continued. “I’m closer to her than I’ve been to almost anyone else in my life. But I don’t think I love her in that way. And I think we both know it really. Like I said, we just sort of fell into this thing, but we both know really it’s not right for us. More now than ever.”  
  
Privately, Nick wondered if Abby really felt the same about the situation as Connor, but then pushed the thought away. Thinking about Abby now was painful – not everyone was going to emerge from this situation unscathed, and unfortunately Abby was the one in the firing line.  
  
“I don’t want to be with Abby,” Connor said suddenly, looking directly at Nick again. “I want to be with you.”  
  
Nick smiled. There was no reason to deny it any more. “I want to be with you, too,” he replied. Using the grip he still maintained on Connor’s arm, he tugged Connor closer and pressed a chaste kiss to Connor’s parted lips, smiling again at the surprise on the younger man’s face. “Well, did you ever really think I’d say no?” he added smilingly.  
  
Then he turned serious again “But before anything else can happen, you have to talk to Abby,” he said.  
  
Connor’s expression had gone from surprise to joy, but now it changed again, this time to sadness. “I know. You’re right.” He sighed and stood up. “I should go – staying would be…dangerous.” He smiled lopsidedly and Nick nodded, standing up as well and following Connor back out of the living room and into the hallway, opening the front door to let the night air flood in.  
  
They hovered together on the threshold for a moment, just looking at each other, and then Connor nodded firmly before stepping outside. “I’ll tell her,” he said. Then he smiled hopefully. “See you tomorrow?”  
  
Nick nodded. “Of course.”  
  
The darkness swallowed Connor up quickly, but Nick lingered on the doorstep anyway, watching until even his shadow was out of sight.  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
The next day was a busy one, with a multitude of tasks to keep him occupied. Nick couldn’t decide if his suddenly packed schedule was a relief or a frustration. He desperately wanted to talk to Connor, but at the same time he was scared to. What if Connor had changed his mind overnight? What if Abby had convinced him it was her she really wanted to be with? What if Nick had just dreamed the whole incident?  
  
The reassuring smile Connor had shot him across the atrium first thing that morning had gone some way towards alleviating Nick’s fears, but until they could actually talk, Nick wasn’t going to count his chickens.  
  
And people seemed to be going out of their way to stop any kind of conversation between them. The smile had happened on the way to the conference room for the monthly review meeting, the first since Nick had returned – and three hours later it was still going on. Nick was making an effort to concentrate on what was being said – he was still getting up to speed on everything he’d missed while he was away – but it was hard with Connor sitting directly opposite him, looking alternately happy and worried.  
  
The worry was obviously for Abby, who was sitting next to Stephen, withdrawn and silent. The only time she showed any interest in the meeting was when Lester raised the issue of creature containment, and then she argued her case fiercely enough to cause a raised eyebrow from their boss.  
  
Nick felt for her, he really did, and he could tell that Connor had been upset by whatever had been said between them, even if he was trying to hide it. It was one more thing _he_ and Connor needed to talk about, and as the clock ticked closer to four hours, Nick started to wonder if killing Lester in the name of all their freedom would really be such a bad thing.  
  
But eventually the meeting was over, and amid a chorus of rumbling stomachs everyone stood up to leave. Nick checked his watch, the hands confirming his body’s clamouring for food – it was definitely lunchtime.  
  
“Oh, not you, Cutter,” Lester said suddenly. “Working lunch for you today, I’m afraid. The three of us need to discuss how you’re fitting back in, and unfortunately this is the only space in my busy schedule.”  
  
Looking round, Nick saw that Jenny was standing beside Lester, throwing him a sympathetic look. He thought about pointing out that everyone had a busy schedule, but knew it would be pointless to argue with Lester.  
  
“Fine,” he said shortly. “Just so long as I can eat while we talk. Unless you want your prodigal son keeling over from lack of nourishment.”  
  
Lester looked very much as if he wanted to debate the phrase ‘prodigal son’, but instead he just nodded. “Shall we decamp to my office?” he suggested. “A whole conference table seems like overkill for three people.”  
  
Connor was lingering in the corridor outside, and his hopeful expression fell when Nick shook his head at him. Stephen and Abby had already disappeared.  
  
“Sorry, Connor. We’ll talk later, okay?” Nick said, his voice nonchalant.  
  
“Yeah, okay.”  
  
“See you later.” And Nick allowed himself to be shepherded away by Jenny.  
  
Of course, by the time his ‘working lunch’ (which contained a lot less lunch and a lot more working, in Nick’s opinion, and which felt almost as long as the previous meeting) was over, Connor was nowhere to be found. Stephen reported seeing him heading towards the server room with one of the other techs, both of them talking a mile a minute in “that incomprehensible technobabble they speak.”  
  
Nick briefly contemplated going in search of him, but in the end went to his office instead. He had no good reason for dragging Connor away from his work – not one that was publicly declarable, anyway – and he couldn’t very well have the conversation he wanted to have with Connor in front of another ARC employee. It would just have a wait a bit longer.  
  
He’d briefly contemplated going to find Abby, but then decided that wasn’t a good idea – at least, not until he found out how Connor had left things between them.  
  
Out of other options, Nick settled down to write his report on the previous day’s anomaly, the absence of which Lester hadn’t hesitated to point out at Nick’s ‘review’. When exactly Lester had expected him to write said report, between yesterday’s post-anomaly medical examinations, and this morning’s interminable meeting, Nick wasn’t quite sure, but naturally that hadn’t crossed Lester’s mind.   
  
So Nick sat down to write his report like a dutiful little scientist, hoping that it might take his mind off things somewhat as well. And it did, right up until the point where he had to describe the stampede. Then he remembered how he’d thought Connor had been killed, and Connor’s confession of the previous evening that he’d thought the same had happened to Nick. That sent Nick’s thoughts off into a different track, and thus the report remained unfinished on the computer screen in front of him.  
  
A tentative knock brought him out of his reverie, and he turned to find Connor hovering in his office doorway, looking a little tired, but smiling nonetheless.  
  
“Free at last,” the young man said. “I thought I was never going to get those server connections fixed.”  
  
“Oh, is that what you were doing?”  
  
“Yep. I won’t bore you with the details, but suffice to say our computer system won’t come crashing down around our ears in the near future.”  
  
“That’s good to know,” Nick said wryly.  
  
There was a moment of silence, and then Connor started to talk again, the words looking like they were paining him.  
  
“I spoke to Abby last night. She wasn’t…”  
  
Nick held up a hand to silence him. “Not here, okay? This isn’t the place for this. How about we go back to my place? Or the pub if you prefer? I know a quiet one not too far away.”  
  
“Your place,” replied Connor after a moment, his tone soft but decisive.  
  
Nick nodded. “All right.”  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
The drive to Nick’s house was a quiet one, the atmosphere inside the truck thick with anticipation that smothered any thoughts of talk, small or otherwise. Nick’s fingers twitched on the steering wheel as he fought the impulse to reach out and touch Connor, sitting only feet away, and he kept his eyes firmly on the road, negotiating his way through the early evening traffic.  
  
He let Connor into the house ahead of him, shutting and locking the front door behind them, and cursing softly when the keys slipped through his fingers and landed on the floor with a loud jangle. Huffing in annoyance, he bent to retrieve them, flapping his spare hand at Connor in a shepherding gesture.  
  
“Go through. I expect you remember the way from last night…”  
  
The final word died on his lips as he straightened up again to find Connor staring at him fixedly, and it suddenly hit him just how different the current circumstances were to those of the previous evening, when he’d been convinced that he was losing Connor completely and forever.  
  
Nick felt the edges of the keys pressing into his palm as he clenched his hand around them. He was staring at Connor and Connor was staring at him. He had everything he wanted back again, and yet he couldn’t seem to move. To do anything. Why couldn’t he _do_ anything?  
  
Connor solved the problem for him.  
  
The keys dropped from Nick’s suddenly nerveless hand, rattling unnoticed against the tiles again as Connor pushed him back against the wall. The kiss was clumsy to start with, neither of them quite coordinated until Nick made a frustrated sound in his throat and brought his hands up to cradle Connor’s head and keep him still.  
  
Months of pent up heartache and longing expended themselves in that kiss, as Nick relearned the taste of Connor and the feel of his lips in a matter of moments. Not that he’d ever really forgotten any of it.  
  
Eventually, and almost dizzy with sensation and lack of air, they drew apart, resting their foreheads together as they breathed in tandem.  
  
“There are still things we need to talk about,” Nick said softly, smiling a little when he felt Connor’s minute shake of the head. “Yes,” he insisted. “Abby…”  
  
Connor stepped away suddenly, leaving Nick feeling cold. “It was hard,” he said, his eyes reflecting the remembered pain. “Hurting her, it was…”  
  
“I know.”  
  
“She understood though.” Connor snorted in disgust at himself, and Nick reached out and squeezed his shoulder, revelling in the way Connor leaned into his touch. “She wasn’t surprised in the slightest, and she said she hoped we’d be happy again. But she was hurting, I could tell.”  
  
Nick squeezed again, and then pushed Connor gently in the direction of the living room, guiding him gently with the hand that remained on his shoulder until he was sitting on the sofa, in his old place, with Nick sitting beside him.  
  
“Perhaps…maybe I should talk to her?” Nick said hesitantly.  
  
Connor shook his head. “Not yet. I don’t think she’d…appreciate that. If you know what I mean.”  
  
“Of course. I’m sorry, Connor. I know you never meant for any of this to happen. None of us did.”  
  
There was a moment’s pause, and then, “It was worth it, though,” Connor said, smiling at Nick, although the expression quickly faltered. “I’m sorry. For putting you through this.”  
  
Nick kissed him again, quickly this time, although no less fervently. “It doesn’t matter. It’s in the past. And unlike some aspects of our lives, this will stay in the past. I don’t want you feeling guilty about this.”  
  
“All right.” Connor nodded. “I’ll try.”  
  
“Look, perhaps we should take things a bit slowly, yeah? Maybe we need to…feel our way back into this.”  
  
“I don’t want to take things slowly.”  
  
“It might be for the best, Connor. We’ve all had a lot of upheaval in our lives over the past year. And there’s no need to rush.”  
  
“I think there is.” Connor still looked faintly upset, but there was a mischievous twinkle in his eye that was rapidly transforming his expression. “I want to make up for lost time.”  
  
Nick opened his mouth to protest some more, but then closed it abruptly with a snap. Who was he kidding? He couldn’t be the voice of reason in this instance. He felt like he’d been waiting forever for this.  
  
“How did I get myself into this situation?” he muttered to himself.  
  
“By not withstanding my manly charms two years ago?” Connor suggested. “Although perhaps it might have been better if you had…”  
  
“Hey, what did I say?” Nick admonished. “We’ll have no more of that kind of talk.” He stood up and held out a hand. “Come on, then,” he said, pulling Connor to his feet again. “We’ve got some lost time to make up for.”


	8. Epilogue

  
Nick rolled his shoulders as he exited the conference room, silently cursing Lester’s penchant for long and boring meetings. The anomalies had been unusually quiet since the one with the parasaurolophus, and the civil servant seemed to think he needed to fill everyone’s time with bureaucracy, in case they took it into their heads to run amuck out of sheer boredom. The fact that everyone had more than enough ARC-based work to be getting on with already seemed to have escaped Lester’s notice.  
  
Further down the corridor, Connor had been collared by Stephen, who had in turn been collared by Lieutenant Anders. From the grins on the latter’s faces, and the slightly worried expression on Connor’s, Nick suspected that Stephen and Anders were arranging some kind of boys night out, and he wondered if he should go and rescue Connor before he got roped in. Having experienced one of those nights, he knew for certain that it wouldn’t quite be Connor’s cup of tea.  
  
And besides, he still found himself unwilling to be separated from Connor for too long. The resumption of their relationship was only a couple of weeks old, and Nick found himself getting twitchy if he let Connor out of his sight. It was ridiculous – rationally he knew Connor wasn’t going to just vanish, or change his mind, or anything – but he couldn’t help it.  
  
Happily, Connor seemed to feel the same way. He’d taken to bringing his work into Nick’s lab whenever he could get away with it, and whenever the anomaly detector didn’t need his attention, and they’d worked on their respective projects in companionable silence, albeit a silence occasionally interrupted by Connor’s enthusiasm and ramblings. Nick found he didn’t mind that in the slightest, and the arrangement had worked surprisingly well. And if Jenny, Stephen, Lester, and everyone else had noticed it, they’d refrained from commenting.  
  
The somewhat pleading look Connor was now sending in his direction decided him – smiling a little, Nick headed towards the small group, intent on playing knight in shining armour. But someone saying his name arrested his progress before he’d gone more than a few steps.  
  
“Cutter.”  
  
Turning around, he found Abby standing behind him, looking a little nervous, but also determined.  
  
“Yes, Abby, what is it?” Nick was suddenly acutely aware that this was first one-on-one conversation he’d had with Abby since he and Connor had got back together. He’d taken Connor’s advice, and not sought Abby out, instead waiting for her to come to him.  
  
And now, apparently, she had.  
  
Watching her work out what to say next, Nick couldn’t help noticing that she looked a little pale, and tired. His conscience twinged, but he couldn’t bring himself to feel guilty. Everyone concerned knew that Connor wouldn’t have been happy if he and Abby had stayed together. And Nick knew that both he and Abby wanted the same thing in that respect, at least – they both wanted Connor to be happy.  
  
“I just wanted to say…I’m sorry,” Abby said at last, in a low voice. “I never meant to mess things up like this. Or hurt you in any way.”  
  
Nick caught himself before he reached out – he sensed that Abby wouldn’t appreciate any physical comfort, at least not from him. “You have nothing to apologise for,” he said sincerely. “What’s done is done. It was a hard time for all of us.” He smiled, and although Abby didn’t smile back, he thought she looked a little happier.  
  
“But if we are going to do the apology thing, then I’m sorry too,” Nick added. “I’m sorry that things had to end up like this for you.”  
  
A brief flash of hurt crossed Abby’s face at that, but she nodded slowly. “Thanks,” she said. “But I’m coping. I think. Connor and I…well, I’m not sure we would have worked even if you hadn’t come back. He never really got over you, you know. We shouldn’t have started anything while he was still grieving. That’s a recipe for disaster.”  
  
Nick wasn’t really sure what to say to that, and a brief, awkward silence fell, punctuated only by the laughter from the group at the end of the corridor.  
  
“But I’m hoping we can still be friends,” Abby said suddenly. “Connor and I, I mean. He’s been a good friend to me, and I don’t want to lose that.”  
  
“He doesn’t either,” Nick replied. “I know he doesn’t.”  
  
“I hope you and I can be friends again too,” Abby continued. “I wouldn’t want to lose our friendship either.”  
  
“Me too,” Nick told her. “I’m sure we can put all this behind us, in time.”  
  
“In time,” Abby agreed.  
  
“Guys?” Connor had managed to extricate himself from Stephen and Anders’ clutches without assistance, and had appeared next to Nick, looking anxiously between him and Abby. “Is everything all right?”  
  
Abby summoned up a smile. “It’s fine, Connor,” she said. “Cutter and I were just having a chat.”  
  
“Oh, really?” Connor still looked concerned, and Nick smiled too, making the expression reassuring.  
  
“Everything really is fine, Connor. You’ve nothing to worry about. Now, what’s say we make a break for it and go and get some lunch at the pub down the road? I could do with a pint after that tedious morning.”  
  
“Yes, all right,” Connor nodded. “Sounds good.”  
  
Abby had stepped away slightly, distancing herself from the conversation, and something in Nick compelled him to call her back. “Abby?” he asked tentatively. “Would you like to join us?” He shot a quick glance down the corridor to where Stephen and Anders were still lurking. “I’m sure some of the others would like to come too. I bet we could even get Jenny to favour us with her presence.”  
  
Smiling briefly, Abby nonetheless shook her head. She was already moving away again. “No,” she replied quietly. “Thanks, but not today.”  
  
“But soon, maybe?” Nick pressed.  
  
She nodded back at them. “Soon.”  
  
Connor’s glance continued to dart between the two of them until Abby had disappeared around the corner in the direction of the rec room, and Nick reached out to rest a hand on his shoulder.  
  
“I think,” he said gently, “everything’s going to be all right.”  
  
“You think so?” Connor looked hopeful.  
  
Nick nodded. “I really do.”


End file.
